.Phrankenlife.

The dreamer

2011-12-27T23:32:00.002+08:00

I have always been a dreamer. I used to have so many dreams that I live for. However, these days I felt that all those dreams had died. I don't know anymore what I want for myself and my life. When I think about it, I believe it's because of the fear that I have within. I have settled in a specific lifestyle that it's fearful to uproot from this lifestyle and pursue my dreams.
Sometimes I wonder if it's even fear that is stopping me from pursuing my dreams -- maybe it's just pure laziness. It takes a lot of work to make changes to a lifestyle that you have been comfortable with for quite some time. But laziness can be cured, but fear takes more effort to overcome. I still need to do more thinking to figure this out, but once I do, I hope that I'm just a lazy person rather than a coward.

30-Day Challenge: Day 14

2011-12-23T22:22:00.002+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 14: A TV SHOW THAT YOU'RE CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO

I am not a big fan of TV shows, I don't even watch TV that much. But if there is any show that I want to keep watching, season after season, it is Ghost Adventures. The GA crew makes paranormal researching look enjoyable and fascinating. After seasons of watching this show, I have developed a tiny crush on the main host of the show, Zak Bagans. He has a good body, not so much of a cute face, but supremely charming. Plus all the provocation (towards the paranormal activity) that he does in the show, makes him look so hot.

He is not absolutely brave, sometimes he gets spooked too, by the paranormal encounters (and snakes and some types of insects) he had, but he keeps going, and I have a lot of respect for that.

The most exciting thing about this show is that they go through lockdowns, from dusk till dawn, in haunted locations across USA, and work to document the paranormal activities that happen in those places. They take you through the lockdown, in real time, and they use all kinds of scientific equipments to document their findings. Really cool equipments, I am telling you.

If you're a fan of paranormal investigation, I recommend this show for you.

Zak, Nick, and Aaron have the best sense of humour in the industry and I thoroughly enjoy it.

30-Day Challenge: Day 13

2011-12-22T16:55:00.003+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 13: A PICTURE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BAND/ARTIST

♥ BIGBANG ♥

Korean male idol group

30-Day Challenge: Day 12

2011-12-21T15:35:00.001+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 12: YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP, IF SINGLE, DISCUSS HOW SINGLE LIFE IS

Whoa, this is a profound topic.

I am not in a relationship, and as per the opposite situation,
it has its pros and cons.

Rather than rambling and steering out of topic, let's do this in a way that is interesting and easy to understand

PROS OF BEING SINGLE

I don't have to report to or ask permission from anyone to do things that I wanted to do. Be it getting a radical haircut or taking interest in paranormal investigation, I am free to do anything I wish. I learn to rely on my own logic and sound mind, and listen to my heart.
I am naturally in tune with guys more than with girls -- that is how my brain is wired. I have a lot of close guy friends and I like it like that. Being single, I never have to explain to anyone my close friendship with another dude.
Love is a burdensome emotion, especially when the person you love don't take love as seriously as you do. I feel liberated without having the burden in my heart. Love for men, have caused me a lot of pain my whole life, and at this moment, I am enjoying the independence of being responsible of my own joy and pain.

CONS OF BEING SINGLE

I have come to the age where most of my friends are getting married and having babies. It is burdensome for my family and I to keep having to explain when I am getting married, and why not soon. It helps if I am in a relationship, at least there is some explanation to start with.
It is natural for human beings to crave for human contact. I know how it feels like to have a man's strong and warm hands filling my palms, the feeling of being protected by a man who loves me, and his warm smile calming my shivering heart. I miss that feeling.
As much as I am scared shitless about having children of my own, a small part of my heart wants to experience this for myself. I can adopt, yes of course, but I want to have the normal family that I once had -- Mom, Dad, and the kids. How am I going to achieve that being single?

In conclusion, I am happy being single, and I enjoy it. However, I have no qualms about being in a relationship, as long as it will be fulfilling and worthy. I am a romantic, and although most people would think that this won't do me any good, but I have spent my entire life moulding my personality, and I am not going to settle for 2nd best. I'd say that I am stubborn to want to have what I want, but I have faith that God knows what is best for me. Maybe what I want is not what I need, and I will never find out being stubborn.

30-Day Challenge: Day 11

2011-12-20T14:34:00.001+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 11: WHAT'S IN YOUR MAKEUP BAG?

I don't use a lot of makeup. Most of the time, I prance along bare-faced. However, I do own a makeup bag - a huge one. However most of the time, I only carry some ~~favourite~~necessary items around. Here's what I found in the tiny case of makeup that I carry around on daily basis.

30-Day Challenge: Day 10

2011-12-19T14:42:00.004+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 10: A PHOTO OF YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO EAT

Honestly I don't have a favourite place to eat. It's always either some mamak place or some other place close to my workplace. On weekends, I don't always eat (seriously), and if I do eat, it's this restaurant close to my house that sells local Malay dishes. It's either that or just fast food.

However, come to think of it, if my housemate and I feels like eating something special, we usually go for sushi. For affordable sushi and other japanese food, we'd go for Sushi King. In fact, most of the time if I go to KL alone, and feel like eating, I'd still go to Sushi King. I like mixing & matching the ala carte dishes like the fish, stir-fried beef, and deep fried salmon skin, with a bowl of rice and pickled radish, sometimes with miso soup on the sides.

Sometimes even your tastebuds need a new perspective.

(As of yet, I have no photo for Sushi King -- but since I cannot skip a post, I will update this post with a photo when I can)

30-Day Challenge: Day 9

2011-12-18T21:17:00.008+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 9: A PHOTO OF THE ITEM YOU LAST PURCHASED

I purposely waited until today before posting this because I just went for a shopping spree. A well-deserved one, because it's been a while since I have shopped big time for things to wear. I bought a lot of things during the shopping spree but this is my favourite item.

Okay, not exactly a photo I took myself because my digital camera is out of battery (has been so for quite some time), but the shoes in this photo is very similar with the pair I bought, minus the bow. It's mostly canvas, so it's really comfortable and I am in love with it. Cute & quirky flats make me lose all self control.

On another note, does anyone know where jeggings are sold here in Malaysia? I don't go out shopping a lot, so I don't know if they're widely sold anywhere. I just saw jeggings on sale at the Brands Outlet Store at IOI Mall, and I got excited, even though it's not something that I would wear. I got excited because every fashion blog I read is raving about it but I don't see this going around Malaysia. But then again, you won't be able to tell if someone is wearing jeggings or just a really tight pair of skinny jeans unless you touch the material. Last time I checked, going around touching people's legs is not "in".

Teehee.

30-Day Challenge: Day 8

2011-12-17T12:00:00.001+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 8: A SONG THAT MATCH YOUR MOOD

쏙쏙쏙 by UEE (After School)

I have never been a fan of UEE, but this song is so sweet that my tooth hurts.

Not her best vocal performance, but it's fitting for the song.

Dreamy and sweet, I am feeling this love song right now.

Since the song is in Korean, here is the English translation of the lyrics.

쏙쏙쏙

Sok sok sok you enter my heart sok sok sok

Sok sok sok you enter my head sok sok sok

In my head, in my heart, it seems like you are building a small house

Sok sok sok your name sok sok sok

Sok sok sok the way you talk sok sok sok

Little by little I am becoming you

Sometimes, like I am hungry for food, I am hungry for you

It's as if my heart makes grumbling sounds for you

If I fill it up with one phone call, I get dizzy

I wonder if you know my symptoms as well

On a sunny day, on a sparkling street, I see you

You look great as usual, sweet guy

When the light turns green

I run to you first and jump into your arms

Sok sok sok your scent sok sok sok

Sok sok sok your breath sok sok sok

It seems like the whole world is filled with you and me

Sok sok sok your laugh sok sok sok

Sok sok sok your lips sok sok sok

My heart, my body is all becoming yours

Your unerasable face is in my head like sok sok sok

Each word melts me like a cookie melts in your mouth sok sok sok

I only see you, there is only one love in this world

Now I am your man

La la~ when I hum along

You smile more brightly than ever today

We ride the slightly blowing breeze

And I run to you first and jump into your arms

Sok sok sok your scent sok sok sok

Sok sok sok your breath sok sok sok

It seems like the whole world is filled with you and me

Sok sok sok your laugh sok sok sok

Sok sok sok your lips sok sok sok

My heart, my body is all becoming yours

I can't fall asleep, you just don't leave my mind sok sok sok

I know my heart, I know your heart

That's cus you came into my heart like sok sok sok

I am in you and I am by you and forever you are in my dream

I can't forget, I can't erase

In my heart you are sok sok sok

I know it's you, I know my love

In your head I am going sok sok sok

You are my Cinderella, I won't let go of your tightly holding two hands

In the dreams of your heart

In my beautiful forest of your heart

(verses in bold & italic are rap verses performed by Jonghyun of After School Boys)

30-Day Challenge: Day 7

2011-12-16T17:27:00.004+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 7: YOUR DREAM WEDDING

I have hesitated to post this challenge because I have never really spent a lot of time thinking about weddings -- which is why my 30-day challenge was brought to a halt. In addition to that, I felt that my "dream wedding" idea (if I had any) is just too private to share on my blog. However, I realized that my blog is not just for other people to read, it's also a journal that I wish to keep revisiting to remind myself of who I was, who I am, and who I hoped to be.

Marriage is a concept that I have struggled to accept and understand my whole life, but I guess when the time comes, the instinct just kicks in. When you put ideas in your head, everywhere you turn, you can see little things that would complement the ideas. Since I still cannot clearly describe how this dream wedding is going to be like, I guess photos & some notes can help you visualize my idea better.

Roses are classic for weddings. Pink roses are my favourite, but I like the punches that red roses deliver in the concept, and the traditional feel that white roses give.

If anything, there will be A LOT of these flowers in my dream wedding.

How butthurt do you think Taeyang will be if I ask him to sing at my wedding?

I mean we all know what happened in the last wedding song that he sang. It was about the girl he loves marrying another guy. So you know, inviting him to sing at my wedding is like rubbing it in his face. Either that, or he will be flattered because he's such a softie and weddings make him cry (no proof of this whatsoever,
but Taeyang fans will understand why I came to this conclusion).

If not Taeyang, then John Legend, but his singing makes me weak in the knees. I don't think it's a good thing that you go weak in the knees for another man on your wedding day. A more realistic choice is Anuar Zain.

As I mentioned earlier, this ring makes an appearance again on my blog.

It can appear as much as it can, for goodness' sake,

it's my freakin dream wedding ring.

When you talk about dream weddings, before any other ideas were formed in my head, I know that this is my dream wedding ring. For those who didn't read my previous post about this ring, it's Princess Katherine style but with ruby instead of sapphire, since ruby is my favourite precious stone.

Seriously this is all I have when talking about my dream wedding. Those are the things I want for the wedding of my dreams, but I will never know what God has planned for me until the time comes. Whatever it is, I am thankful for His graciousness.

The wedding of my dreams won't be complete without a dream husband.

I am thankful for whoever God will bless me with, but to humour us all, and just because I want to include him in this idea, here's a little something.

TADAA~

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(sorry I just had to laugh at my deluded self - before anyone else does)

A girl can dream

2011-12-16T07:00:00.003+08:00

I have no idea why I am posting a photo of this ring.

Oh no wait, I know why.

When I get married, I want my wedding ring to look EXACTLY like this.
Princess Katherine style, but with ruby instead of sapphire.

Very unlike me to be talking of this issue, yes, but I guess I have reached that age where a wedding & marriage come into focus.

Now, I need a husband that can actually afford this gorgeous ring.

Oh what the hell, I can just buy it for myself, in 200 years maybe.

That's fine, this will never go out of style.

P/S: This ring will make an appearance again once I get to my next 30-day challenge post. I will have to post them in bulk because I have been missing out on many, MANY days.
My blog, my business.

Patent Heart

2011-12-07T15:22:00.001+08:00

This is a cute ass bag.

I have a similar heart-shaped patent cross body bag in black (simply because I have no guts to buy it in Shocking Red). I don't use it so much anymore, because it's just big enough to fit my purse, phone, and nothing else, but that fact won't stop me from loving cute cross body bags like these.

This patent heart cross body bag item is by Topshop. Click on the photo to see the item on the online store.

In the eyes of the world

2011-11-07T13:20:00.002+08:00

Seriously, even if I never update my blog these days, this event needs a post on its own. It IS relevant to my blog, I have deep admiration and mad respect for this group of people.

2011 MTV EUROPE MUSIC AWARDS

BEST WORLDWIDE ACT

(photo credit: abbyelectric)
Look at TOP on the far right -- seriously, if he could just stand there and look like that, flash that blazing stare and dimples I could drown in, he don't need to learn English after all.

P/S: I heard that BIGBANG alone got one third of the total of votes casted for all categories. If this is true, MTV should really nominate VIPs as Best Fans in the next EMA.

Can't even miss me

2011-11-03T02:47:00.001+08:00

Wow that's probably the shortest experimental stint I ever had. Just 2 weeks on Wordpress,and I already thought that we can't get along ~ bye bye wordpress.
I think I am gonna be visiting once in a while, because I'm actually somewhat fond of it, but I can't see myself going forward with it.

Blogger is lightweight, user-friendly and flexible...and I don't think any other blogging platform can upstage that -- except for tumblr, but then I use tumblr for specific purposes, not for hardcore blogging.

To welcome myself back to the Blogger platform, have some eye candy

because I am nice to all of you like that.

Goodbye and thanks!

New experiment

2011-10-30T11:01:00.001+08:00

It's time for me to experiment with new blogging platforms after 4 years at Blogger & a very short stint at LiveJournal.

Come at visit me at Wordpress!

It's not as glamorous as my blog here, but I just started out on it and I will put more efforts, time, and love to make it fly~

Going forward, expect new posts at Phrankenlife @ Wordpress.

See you again!

PHRANKENLIFE @ WORDPRESS

The other side

2011-10-17T01:59:00.005+08:00

Bought rolls of Lady Grey film to experiment with a new camera and a new philosophy.

All my life, I have been obsessed with colours. Black, white, and grey were never 'colours' to me. They're just irrelevant shades that happed to exist meaninglessly. They work for SOME things -- some things SHOULD come in black, white, or grey, but in my opinion, why should we limit ourselves to such simplicity when we can enjoy the excitement that colours bring? I was as naive as a leaf of grass.

It all turned around only this year, when I visited an old friend in Johor. We spent some time at the infamous Danga Bay at night, and there were a lot of interesting things to photograph there. I was using a regular point-and-shoot digital camera, and I couldn't figure out the mode I should be using to capture the images right. So I decided to just use the black & white (B&W) mode as an easy way out.

The photos that turned out for the night surprised me with the honesty that they display. Since it's only black and white, instead of capturing the aesthetic beauty of their colours, I think I captured the rawness & ambience of the image. The story of the photographs became more memorable to me.

Since then, B&W photography piqued my interest. It's like going over to the 'other side' that I didn't even care about before.

What happens if I see my entire world through only B&W perspectives?

What new things can I learn from this perspective?

Sticking to this philosophy, finishing up rolls of Lady Grey would be an exciting & liberating experience I am looking forward to.

1st roll: Slide film

2011-10-14T15:48:00.003+08:00

Film: Lomography X-Pro Slide 200 35mm

. Is this how it's supposed to turn out?

If not, what went wrong here? Is it the camera, the lighting, or the processing?

I haven't processed my 2nd roll -- used it at a whole new lighting environment, so let's see how that will turn out.

P/S: Judging on the other photos I've seen processed from this type of film, I don't think these are too bad.

Happy Friday!

2011-09-30T07:16:00.001+08:00

With this, I wish everyone a happy & blissful Friday.

P/S: I'm not so sure anymore if I find him beautiful because he's beautiful or because I love him.

The good life.

2011-09-24T11:29:00.000+08:00

Merdeka Raya Project Align '11

Good food, good company, hilarious antics.

This weekend is off on a good start.

Today I'm going to see the love of my life...in real life.

Tomorrow hopefully will be filled with laughter and good memories.

Life is good.

Melodrama

2011-08-31T13:53:00.000+08:00

How did I go from being high on life to hating my life so much that I want to be someone else living another life??

The worst thing is I can't even just skip out on the aspects that I hate without being labelled irresponsible.

I am thankful for the things that happened in 2011, it has been a good year so far -- but my heart is the most restless this year.

His gift

2011-08-29T01:55:00.000+08:00

No matter how much you think about it, Lee Dong Wook presenting himself to you so cutely, it's too irresistible.

이런 선물을 가지고싶어~~

#BB5LIFE

2011-08-19T12:37:00.000+08:00

An event this meaningful to VIPs, surely deserves a birthday post.

HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY BIGBANG!

May good luck and success be with you until the next anniversary.
Thank you for making my life more meaningful.

언제나 사랑합니다
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

2011-08-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

Am I the only one who saw the resemblance?

If only we can "brush his hair, undress him everywhere"...

Adults' Club

2011-07-30T20:45:00.000+08:00

There is an issue that had been lingering in my mind and I wish to provoke your thoughts with it.

I showed my friend a photo of Kim Jaejoong of JYJ and asked her what she thinks of him. Does she think he's beautiful or something else? Clearly she wasn't interested, but it's fine because we have unique taste when it comes to beauty. As much as I used to think that Jaejoong is the most beautiful man I have ever seen, and that sometimes I wonder if his beauty is even real, or that he just stepped out of pages of a manga, I'm not sure if I find him that hauntingly attractive anymore. Well yes, attractive of course, but not the kind I'd fall all over myself for. How did he come from being the most beautiful man I have ever seen to just getting a 'meh' reaction from me?

Maybe I am no longer attracted that kind of prettiness.

Maybe he just crossed the boundary, in my head, from being a guy I'd lust for, to being the pretty girl next door.

Well anyway, upon hearing that from me, my friend made a comment that I have grown up, and I am welcomed to the adults club. Does that make me a child all these while because I liked pretty Korean boys?

I am not taking offense, & I am just clarifying things here, but as Korean Pop fangirl, an adult theme is not exactly something we are unfamiliar with.

Don't be fooled by the rabid colours or the fact if it wasn't for what they were wearing, it's hard to tell if an artist is a dude or a chick. All those do not equal to being immature or childish -- not in Korean Pop.

I'm not asking anyone to like what you will see, but watch a performance, and tell me how 'childish' do you think it is. Watch the big stars like Super Junior, 4Minute, and Rain. BIG BANG, 2NE1, f(x) & SHINee are pretty harmless to watch -- they don't always give their performances an adult label (except for Taeyang's solo performances).

So I wonder what exactly do you mean by having 'adult' taste when it comes to lusting over men?

I was telling my friend that the charm with Korean pretty boys aren't always because they're lovable.

It's about when they get up on the stage and how they make you feel.

At any time, I would choose a pretty boy who can push my right buttons with his dancing OVER a masculine, macho, handsome rough man who can't even move his hips to save his own life.

In my mind, if a man can move in a dance, ohh he CAN 'move' when you need him to.

I'm telling you, if I had children, I'd let the girls listen to Taeyang, but not EVER watch his concerts alone -- not when the girls are underage. Children should not be allowed to be exposed to 'adult' business. Taeyang always goes on and on about how he never had a girlfriend and that he's lonely and he 'needs a girl'. With all that, can we safely assume that he is...a virgin? Now now if a virgin can 'move' the way he does and learned it all solely through dancing, then sex is so overrated. This is just talking about Taeyang, and if we're gonna compare him to Rain, Taeyang's sensuality is....bland.

One thing about Rain, I am 24 years old yet I am still too embarrassed to watch his performances. The label on his concerts should be +30. So, let's not start about Rain here to explain the 'adultness' of Korean Pop.

So, um, I don't think that this thing I have for those pretty Korean boys is so childish and immature you see -- because I don't entirely go for the looks. It's never entirely about the looks. If you only go for the looks, I'd fangirl over Fashion Week, not Korean Pop.

Now the perspective in this note solely comes from an adult 24-year-old woman i.e myself. It does not represent the entire K-Pop fandom so if any fangirls come across this entry, don't be butthurt and be flamin' me. I am an adult and I am entitled to such perspectives. Children may not judge.

He's Captain G!

2011-07-20T12:39:00.001+08:00

Rare occassion for G-Dragon to be featured on my blog on his own

BUT

...OH WOW CAPTAIN G
(O___O)

Throwing myself in deeper

2011-07-13T16:18:00.004+08:00

Cristina: Why would you want to put yourself through this again?
Her patient: Because I love what I do more than anything. You don't find something you love that much and let it go. You hold onto it and throw yourself in deeper.
Grey's Anatomy

I hope that would answer all your questions on why I'm still living this way.

2nd roll: Getting the hang of it

2011-07-05T20:56:00.001+08:00

Photos from my 2nd roll.

More good photos developed than the first.

I'm getting the hang of this.

I have also developed my 1st roll of slide film, cross-processed.

Sadly, I left the photos back home in Penang.

God knows when you guys will get to see them.

(-__-")

Like this. Right now.

2011-06-15T12:38:00.000+08:00

Jessica Stroup why so cute~~ ♥ ♥

I want your hairstyle.

Like, right now.

Kthanks.

Excuse me, sir.

2011-06-02T13:58:00.002+08:00

Excuse me sir, but I'm pretty sure you've been hiding

an equally beautiful pair of wings underneath that prince jacket.

Yours truly, The Bunny.

30-day Challenge: Day 6

2011-06-02T13:51:00.000+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 6: A PHOTO OF AN ANIMAL YOU'D LOVE TO KEEP AS A PET

Look at how gorgeous this black stallion is.

I'm not a big fan of animals, but if I'd ever get to keep one as a pet,

it would be a horse, something like this gorgeous black stallion.

When I meet horses, I always like to stroke their noses and look into their eyes. Sometimes it feels like they understood what's in my heart more than my words can describe.

30-day Challenge: Day 5

2011-05-24T13:42:00.005+08:00

Show encrypted text

30-day Challenge: Day 4

2011-05-23T17:40:00.000+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 4: YOUR FAVOURITE PHOTOGRAPH OF YOUR BEST FRIEND

On her glorious wedding reception, and I'm the proudest friend ever.

I have promised to be at both of her engagement and wedding,
and I'm glad I fulfilled it.

We have been best friends for 11 years, and even when distance and new environment separated us, you will always have a special place in my heart.
Thank you for never forgetting our friendship.

Nadia, I hope happiness and the best of luck stays with you for the rest of your life.

30-day Challenge: Day 3

2011-05-22T21:05:00.006+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 3: YOUR IDEA FOR THE PERFECT FIRST DATE

It really depends on the kind of person I'm going on a date with--whether he's an active person who likes action, or a gentle person who likes to be in a calming, beautiful environment.

Here are my ideas for the perfect first date with either one:

Rollercoaster rides and cotton candies in an exciting, cheerful amusement park/carnival where we could let the adrenaline rush do its work in encouraging a sweet romance.

A walk underneath beautiful flowers when they're in full bloom.

Just talking, giggling, and getting to know each other in a such a beautiful setting will make our hearts bloom, too.

30-day Challenge: Day 2

2011-05-21T23:34:00.001+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 2: YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE

Dirty Dancing (1987)

....tells the story of the dizzying whirlwind summertime romance between the wealthy Frances "Baby" Houseman and the rugged, tanned dance instructor, Johnny Castle, at a mountain resort. Dance brought them together despite the differences in their background, that eventually forced them apart. But, according to Johnny, "Nobody puts Baby in the corner", and with that he sweeps her off her feet to dance with him in their famous final dance scene, to the equally famous soundtrack, "(I've Had) The Time of My Life". Among the other memorable, and my favourite tracks from this movie are

Be My Baby - The Ronettes
Love is Strange - Mickey & Sylvia

RIP, my beautiful Patrick, and thank you for the great joy you give me through this movie. I think I'm gonna watch Dirty Dancing again tonight, just to remember you.

Cinta sejati

2011-05-21T22:16:00.001+08:00

Rindunya di hati berjauhan daripada my beautiful baby nephews. They're 1 year old now, and brings me incomparable joy.

Adik

Dah pandai panggil ibu, ayah, nenek dan Acu.

Dah pandai berdiri sendiri dan tepuk tangan bila excited.

Malu-malu bila tersenyum dan suka dibawak berjalan-jalan.

Acu tak sabar nak jumpa Adik lagi and kiss your squishy cheeks.

Abang

Pandai dah goyang-goyang badan menari dan terhibur

bila dengar muzik atau tengok orang menari.

Kesian sangat bila Abang tak dapat makan nasi sbb sakit diarrhea.

Menitis airmata Acu bila nenek cerita Abang kutip serbuk biskut.

Orang dah biasa makan nasi, mana cukup dengan susu je now.

Cepat-cepat sihat ye Abang, nanti Acu bagi makan everything yang Abang nak.

I don't think I'll ever know love greater than what I have for both of you.

30-day Challenge: Day 1

2011-05-19T13:36:00.004+08:00

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

DAY 1: YOUR FAVOURITE SONG

Moondance

***

And all the night's magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush

Can I just have one a' more moondance with you, my love
Can I just make some more romance with a-you, my love

Wouldn't it be fabulous to be with someone you can connect with underneath a starry sky, just being in love? - The Bunny

30 days to come

2011-05-19T13:25:00.000+08:00

Daripada tahun 2007 sampai now, semakin berkurangan aksi di blog ni.

Semenjak jadi warga kerja dan kuli batak orang yang makan gaji buta, aku balik rumah asyik pikir nak tido je.

Tido, keje, tido, keje.

Bila pulak idea untuk blog nak datang? Kalau ada pun, by the time aku bangun tido, dah beku.

Maka, aku sangat berterima kasih kepada Shepha, kerana telah menginspirasikan kandungan blog aku buat 30 hari yang akan datang.

Walaupun aku tak dpt janji yang aku dapat tunaikan setiap hari, tapi sekurang-kurangnya, bila diperlukan, dapatlah aku update blog.

Here goes....

*thun thun thun*

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

day 1 : your favorite song
day 2 : your favorite movie
day 3 : your idea for perfect first date
day 4 : your favorite photograph of your best friend
day 5 : a picture of something you want to do before you die
day 6: a photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet
day 7 : your dream wedding
day 8 : a song that match your mood
day 9 : a photo of the item you last purchased
day 10 : a photo of your favorite place to eat
day 11 : what's in your make up bag?
day 12 : your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is
day 13 : a picture of your favorite band or artist
day 14 : a tv show that you're currently addicted to
day 15 : something that you don't leave the house without
day 16 : a picture of someone who inspires you
day 17 : how you hope your future will be
day 18 : 5 things that irritate ME about opposite/ same sex
day 19 : What makes you different from everyone else?
day 20 : the meaning behind your blog name
day 21 : a photo of something that makes you happy
day 22 : a letter to someone who hurt you recently
day 23 : 15 facts about you
day 24 : a photo of something that means a lot to you
day 25 : who are you ?
day 26 : a photo of somewhere you want to go
day 27 : what kind of person attracts you?
day 28 : in this past month, what have you learn?
day 29 : something that you could never get tired of doing
day 30 : a photograph of yourself today + three good things that happened in the past 30 days.

Expect entry for day 1 in the next post. Ganbatte!

Sweet nothings

2011-05-09T00:57:00.000+08:00

I am having an unproductive weekend, being sick, and forgetting to bring an important work home. However, it's nice to be able to have explosions in my head from all these cuteness.

Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ♥

Go on and witness more cuteness explosion at DailyCute.net.

Recently loving

2011-04-08T17:16:00.000+08:00

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT/SAY HERE.

Straight truth, right there.

Let's see what I recently loved in Korean Pop.

1) DR. FEEL GOOD - Rania

Although a lot of people I know criticize their debut concept (think garter belt and shiny polyester, if not leather, jackets), personally, I am growing to be a fan of this girl group. They could have dressed classier, but in my personal opinion, class is not in what you wear, but it's in your attitude. So despite the shamelessness of their outfit, I think Rania's debut is still classy. The song is mad catchy -- the beats catch on to your brain cells and clings to them. I can see myself appreciating this song for A REALLY LONG TIME. Plus, their live stage is fantastic, choreographed & designed by a genius, performed by a batch of solid talents. I'm not too excited about them rolling around on the stage in garter belts and sleazy jackets, but I couldn't care less what they wear when they can dance like that -- and hopefully REALLY sing like what they sound like in the studio version. OH DID I MENTION THEY ARE PRODUCED BY TEDDY RILEY? You know, of Blackstreet fame. In your face, K-Pop haters~

2) TWINKLE TWINKLE - Girls' Day

Okay, I was never too crazy about Girls' Day. Shuppy Shuppy was a pretty amusing song, and for a while I was amused. However, I can say that Girls' Day turned their flair up 3 notches with Twinkle Twinkle. It's the most hyper song I have heard for the past few months (in Korean Pop, that's ages). I imagined my brain cells are like jumping beans, bouncing inside my skull, everytime I listened to Twinkle Twinkle. The chorus is the most hyper part of the song, it makes me wanna jump around like it's nobody's business. Should anyone ask what's my favourite Korean Pop song for now, I can confidently say, it's this song.

3) EVERY DAY - U-Kiss

I love U-Kiss as much as I would have loved Girls' Day. If it isn't for this new EP they had, I won't be too excited to talk about U-Kiss. Their single from this EP is 0330, but I like Every Day wayy better than 0330. Not to say that 0330 is bad, it's alright, but not as exciting as Every Day. Compared to their previous releases, I would say Bran New Kiss (the title of this latest EP) is their best as of yet.

4) BABY DON'T CRY - BIG BANG

Okay technically this is a Daesung solo from BIG BANG's Special Edition 4th EP. I don't get too excited about the other new songs. I would listen to them regularly, simply because I love listening to the members' voices, but I love this song wayy better than everything else, even though it's only Daesung. His smooth voice just fills my heart like rushing river water. A beautiful production, I should find out who's responsible for such brilliance. I won't be surprised if it's one of the members. They live for surprising their fans with new things every time.

5) STUPID LIAR - BIG BANG

I'm a VIP, clearly you could expect me loving more than one BIG BANG song at a time. So there are 3 new songs in the special edition EP, but Love Song haven't grown on me as fast as Stupid Liar and Baby Don't Cry. Love Song is pretty special because I can hear TOP's braingasmic husky voice the first thing in the song, but I really won't call it something I especially fancy right now. Stupid Liar is my best pitch to listen to all of BIG BANG's members in a new song. Taeyang blows my mind in this song, definitely worth looking forward to.

6) SORRY (DEAR DADDY) -- f(x)

I'm outdated, I know. This song is from their Nu ABO EP -- which was released Korean-Pop ages go (perhaps some time last year?). I would recommend ANYONE, Korean Pop fan or not, to just LISTEN to this song ONCE and try to say that it's not good. Fantastic vocal performance by f(x) -- as expected of SME.

Give these a go, if you're tired of your old playlist with the same songs over and over again.

Love, The Bunny.

Blessings

2011-02-26T21:12:00.002+08:00

Tiring day today, both mentally and physically. Still, today is a blessed day. You could read on to know why or just get away from my blog and save us all from your negative energy.

1) Bought a mini air hockey platform for my 7-year-old nephew who has been so good and so smart in school. I promised him a talking Buzz Lightyear figurine, but he wanted to exchange it with the mini air hockey thing--meh whatever, I will not be the one he's keeping up to play the game with him. It still feels good to make a child happy.

2) Received a care package from my BFF, Elise, who lives in the US. BEST care package EVER. 2011 Hello Kitty planner plus stickers, valentine candies (with special dark chocolate selection), coloured pencils, and the best thing in the package...a valentine card with a personal handwritten message--that I want to read over and over again. It makes me wanna cry thinking how someone can put everything I love into ONE package and gets everything just right. I always thought I'm just not important enough for anyone to remember my preferences.

I AM 24 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR AND I DON'T THINK ANYONE CAN SEND A BETTER CARE PACKAGE THAN THIS UNTIL OF COURSE, SOMEONE WRAPS UP T.O.P OF BIGBANG AND SEND HIM TO ME IN A CARE PACKAGE.

My best friend, my sister, I love you, thank you so much for making me feel important and special.

...and to all those who have been my true friends and my sisters all these while, I am always thankful to have all of you in my life and I love you all.

I will carry the happiness of today through the difficult times in the future.

Let's keep on trying!

2011-02-19T15:17:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah.
After 2 years, I would say a promotion to a senior position is well-earned & deserved.

I am at a high point in my life. As always, there will be people out to ruin it for me. I guess I would never expect it coming from one of my dearest, most beloved friend.

However, with so much expectation and hope put upon me, I will try my best not to disappoint. It hurts, oh yes, that the people who I taught were my friends aren't completely supportive about this. Especially when I am always nothing but supportive and motivating towards them.

My biggest problem is to contain my anger and to be the bigger person here. Being the bigger person means having to be around the people who have wronged me, everyday but not clawing them to death.

I am not a perfectly kind person, but I try everyday, to make someone's life brighter. The thing is, I don't want to lie on my deathbed and regret the day I betray a friend or break someone's heart. I want to grow old and die knowing that I made a difference in this world--or at least my world.

I'm not the most beautiful person, but I try to be beautiful on the inside.
As long as I keep on trying, I will be alright.

For new challenges and new excitement in 2011, let's keep on trying!

Paranormal Activity 2: Tsk tsk.

2011-02-08T13:03:00.003+08:00

[SPOILERS AHEAD..!!]

After what seems like forever wanting to watch Paranormal Activity 2, I finally got to watch it. I am fully satisfied of how chilling the movie was, but I began to lose interest halfway through. As I had credited how original the first Paranormal Activity movie was, this sequel/prequel seemed to lose its charm.

It was nerve-wrecking to just stare at still recordings, not knowing what's gonna scare you out of your brains next. I personally thrive on the anticipation of scaring myself shitless. However, things start to go unrealistic (yes -- wayyy unrealistic than having inexplicable strange incidents in your house) when after all the crazy things, the parents went on to leave the toddler alone with their teenage daughter all night.

YES -- of course, something's gonna happen to them.
OF COURSE there will inexplicable knockings on the door and EVEN AFTER not seeing anyone outside, she STILL opens the door and WENT outside to check things out.

What do you think happens next?

OF COURSE, the door will close on itself, locking the daughter outside of the house, while her baby brother is left alone sleeping INSIDE the house.

Classic.
Nothing wrong with being classic, but since this movie was grandly anticipated and all, I was expecting this movie to bring something new on the plate.

I am still thrilled by various chilling scenes in the movie -- 2 thumbs up!
No doubt I will not sleep easy for at least a few days -- for this kind of thrill, I am not complaining.
However, I had to mentally force myself to finish watching the movie because I was already so psyched up about it the whole night before.
When the time comes for Paranormal Activity 3, the minute it starts to be predictable, I will drop it immediately and go do something more mentally stimulating.

He's beautiful

2011-02-01T13:33:00.003+08:00

....and the beauty of the day is

우리 장근석

(our Jang Geun Seok)

Thanks beautiful, my day is made.

Not a day I would forget

2011-01-27T04:01:00.002+08:00

It's January 27, 2011 today, and I forgot that it's the birthday of one of my closest friends. He was a special friend to me, so special that one year I was distraught that I didn't get to plan his birthday celebration.

Birthdays have always been big to me. I would make a big deal out of a stranger's birthday. It's like a personal cause of mine to celebrate birthdays. Yet, I forgot that today is one of my closest friends' birthday.

It totally brought into perspective how self-centered I have been this past year, and I can't say that I like that about myself that much. I was so focused on developing who I am on the inside that I shut people out of my thoughts. So much for trying to make a difference in this world. If I couldn't start by making a difference in my friends' lives, best bet that I won't be making any significant difference to the world, in general.

I should get him a present or a card, I think. Something impersonal. Something unlike what I would always do, but at least something to show I still care. I have always cared. I just forgot that I do.

I'm really sorry, friend. Letting our special friendship slip away is something I will always regret. You were almost like a brother and you were my rock way back when I needed it. By the way, happy birthday, and may this year be blissful for you.

My daily dose of beauty.

2011-01-14T14:07:00.001+08:00

Photo credits: Eiffel in Seoul

A little dose of beauty never fails to brighten up my day

Squeeze and Squish 7 months on.

2010-12-30T12:26:00.001+08:00

Photo courtesy of Wani

Can you tell which is my favourite?

Clue: The more huggable one

*kidding kidding*

I love them equally.

First Roll

2010-12-29T03:28:00.002+08:00

My first roll of film by my lomo camera proves

to be more satisfying than I originally thought it would be.

Long way to go towards a more polished result, but I learned a lot through this film, especially when it comes to choosing the right subject
for my photos and my favourite lightings.

Once I get the hang of this lomography thing,
I'd invest in the more expensive slide film.

I found a really cool shop in Central Market called PhotoCraft.

It's situated next to the Perfume Shop on ground floor.

I hope the shop would still be there when I'm ready

to invest on slide films and Diana F+ cameras.

The views

2010-12-19T14:05:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I tried this test the first time in April 2009. I even posted the results up here on the blog. Many of the aspects change about me, and I felt that I have matured in the head in the past year. A good improvement, I must say :)

TRY THE TEST HERE

Christmas cupcakes

2010-12-18T20:01:00.000+08:00

Yours truly, your macro-loving baby sister.

Oh hay JB!

2010-12-07T20:09:00.001+08:00

I'm back from my weekend in Johor Bahru, visiting an old mate from college, Halimah.
She's a great host, I had a great time staying over at her place and being driven around to enjoy local JB hangouts and makan-makan spots. Finally I get to taste the infamous Murtabak Singapore! *om nom nom*

Thanks again to sweet Halimah and her beloved, Naeim for being patient with your guests and trying your best to show us around JB! I hope we get to spend more time like this again.

Here are some relevant photos \(^__^)/

Even after these, a lot of people still have trouble guessing what my favourite colour is (-__-")

Finally I got myself a lomo camera, let's see how that is gonna turn out.

Look at that fattie and her cheese-baked rice and cajun fish meal.

Our original plan with chicken rice failed, so Mexican food (El Migos @ Sutera Mall) saved the day.

There is one more thing that happened at Sutera Mall that day, but the photo is not gonna be appropriate to be on my blog. Sorry...(-__-")

So every other lighting mode did not produce satisfactory results, I decided to just use black and white the whole time. I loved the 2-storey carousel at Danga Bay that night, and the black-and-white filter brought us all back in time.

The rest of the photos are up on Facebook. \(^___^)/

New skool Eminem

2010-11-13T06:37:00.001+08:00

You know, I have a real problem when a part of the society called Eminem a poser, or that he shouldn't be rapping because he's white, or that he can never beat the old skool hip hop legends.

First off, who is Eminem posing as? Show me an emcee who even closely sound like Eminem. The people who labelled Eminem as a poser probably can't even rap to save their own lives.

I personally have no problem with him being a white rapper, because I am neither white or black. In fact, I don't even know how to describe the colour of my complexion.
By the way, discrimination by colour is so last century.

Now about Eminem and the old skool movement. Clearly Eminem does not belong in the old skool movement. His rhyme schemes and flow is totally revolutionary even among new skool emcees.

I am telling you this, I have been listening to hip hop since I was 8, but it's just music to me. Eminem changed how I see hip hop music. His lyrics are often so passionate and expressive that they moved me. He often enunciates well and has an advanced English vocabulary, as typical of any decent rapper. His proper enunciation helps me to learn his rhyming scheme, and hopefully help me with my writing in the future, if I ever write any rap lyrics of my own (haha!).

Proper enunciation is VERY important, I must say, because like other songwriters, rappers have messages to send across through their music -- how do you expect to send your message across when the audience can't even understand what you're saying? Eminem's lyrics often catch my attention when I'm just mindlessly listening to his music because of this factor.

I don't believe that there is such thing as fake hip hop, as opposed to real hip hop -- because they come in many genres, based on the content and/or the musical styles. I'd say, do your homework, listen to the endless crowd of hip hop musicians out there, find your sound and appreciate others.

I'm still doing my homework.

*BIG SIGH*

On another note, if any of you readers have never heard of Vanilla Ice and his Ice Ice Baby hit back then, I don't know where you guys had been in the '90s.
I was just a baby when this was released, but I'm still listening to it until at least the third year into elementary.

I cannot remember whether he was made fun of as much as he was made fun of these days (strictly because of his style back then) -- but WANNA SEE HOW HE LOOKS LIKE NOW?

back then in the '90s

FAST FORWARD TO 2010

*THUN THUN THUN*

I'm smelling Limp Bizkit or at least Papa Roach ^^

A November Weekend in Penang - PART 1

2010-11-08T03:48:00.000+08:00

The fish head curry at Restoran Pen Mutiara

that my mom had been raving about.

As much as I'm not a big fan
of fish head curry, this is pretty good
\(^___^)/

My brother got this in-car McDonalds'

drive-thru menu at McDonalds' Kampar.

I'm still in awe.

I am responsible.

Adik didn't care.

This is Abang BEFORE a diet of solid foods.

I am excited to see him with all that rice and potato in his system ^^

Lying next to Adik with a camera when he's sleepy --> the meaning of life.

Adik sleeps with a funny face and snores ♥

I just love making macros with the kids' photos.
IT'S OKAY THAT YOU'RE FAT, ABANG.
Maksu loves you more and more ♥
*glomps*

Wait for a Part 2 at the end of November ^^\/

Lil bibliophiles

2010-11-06T05:21:00.001+08:00

It takes a child to get so excited at the sight of a cup.

Abang is sending a message -- the face, the picture of a milk bottle.

Adik just didn't care bout nethin, man, 'cept the soft sheets.

It runs in the family -- the bibliophilistic tendencies.

I'm still trying to understand how I had lived away from them.

Um yeah the money, of course.

(-__-")

Saranghae saranghae

2010-11-01T04:29:00.001+08:00

He's so beautiful it completes my life.

*saranghae saranghae*

More photos HERE

*dies*

The Darlings

2010-10-29T16:05:00.001+08:00

6-months-old Abang(right) & Adik(left)

Maksu wants to stare at you beautiful darlings forever ♥
You deserve all the kisses and cuddles I have got in every inch of my soul.

Nothing lasts forever, that's the problem

2010-09-22T07:02:00.001+08:00

When you love someone, there aren't many things you won't do for them.
You'd do things that you normally won't attempt without the pressing love in your heart.
You sacrifice many things that used to be important to you and you let go many of your desires for the benefit of the people you love.
When you're away from the person you love, you can't stop thinking about them and your chest tightens because your heart is actually physically hurting.

Are those the pleasures of love?
I actually feel liberated and free when I'm not going through these.

This is probably not news anymore, but truth is, nothing lasts forever
Without loving, I have peace of mind knowing that the crushing pain of losing the person I love won't destroy my soul.

The problem is, love don't come from the person you love. It grows from within you.
Now tell me, how can you escape from something within?

There is no escape.
However, you can try to forget and ignore its existence.

Not simple but can be done, and practice makes perfect.
So I wish you the best of luck.

Moment of selfishness

2010-08-20T19:12:00.002+08:00

Today I witnessed 2 incidents that made me want to punch a wall.

At a crowded Bazar Ramadhan, a child under 10 was left in a locked car with the ignition on, for a significant amount of time.

That's not the worst of it.

Earlier in the day, I saw a child (around 5 years old) being left alone in an UNLOCKED car with all the windows wound down. The child was moving restlessly in and out of the car waiting for his parents.

Anything could happen to these unattended children.
They could seriously hurt themselves, they could be kidnapped, with or without the car.

Are children somekind of a joke to parents?
I'm obviously missing the humor here.

Don't these parents learn anything from the recent carjacking/kidnapping incidents in Malaysia?

I love children, but this is the reason why I'm teriffied of having my own. You can only trade your moment of selfishness with lifelong regret.

Epic fail there, parents.

courtesy of fyeahkpopmacros

Gorgonites

2010-08-12T10:39:00.001+08:00

Kyahahaha you read that correctly.

This Maksu plans to be in the twins' lives for a really long time.

Thus I must brand my name anywhere I can on what they would use.

...and for the effort,

courtesy of fyeahkpopmacros

Interested in those Gorgonites cushions?

Check THEM out!

Sarcasm isn't blasphemy.

2010-08-11T04:39:00.002+08:00

With this holy month of Ramadhan comes forgiveness.

Who cares how you act like or treat other people the rest of the year?

...and sarcasm isn't blasphemy.

But I will apologize for it anyway.

Selamat berpuasa!

Our Taemin has called.

2010-08-10T12:20:00.004+08:00

Courtesy of luciferaddicted via fyeahkpopmacros

...and our baby has called for his noonas.
Y'all know what to do know bishes.

*packs up and quits life to answer Taemin's calls*

July 18th next year we're gonna come back and put life back into this post.

It's not being two-faced, just sayin'.

2010-08-08T15:17:00.004+08:00

Some people say it's being two-faced. Well at least I don't front like I'm the purest thing around but goes behind everybody's back offering cunt to boys. Just sayin'.

You Are a Contradiction

People accuse you of having a split personality, and it's completely true.

There are two completely different sides to you - as opposite as night and day.

At times, you are highly social and gregarious. But sometimes you can be the biggest loner around.

Sometimes you are serious and studious, but other times you are carefree and wild. You're hard to predict!

What's True About You?

It's We EP finally.

2010-07-30T07:34:00.002+08:00

image courtesy of Epikpop

So I have finally listened to Dok2's latest EP with Rado, It's We, and as much as the fit I was throwing earlier about his 'international' guest in the EP, I must say the track turned out to be worthy.

Unlike his previous stuffs, Doin' Good (remix) with Jay Park sounds more commercial and radio-friendly. Good for him, so when will I be seeing them on music shows?

I must say I like 119 Bounce the most in the entire mini album. A danceable catchy track laced with Rado's pretty voice (I have my eyes on you now, boo~), it didn't take me more than 2 listens to be impressed :) I'm having a feeling that it's produced by Dok2 himself, you can't ignore the Dirty South influence on the track. Dok2's rap flow was mind-blowing, but that's not exactly news. He's an emcee, he needs to at least impress with his flow, if not anything else.

Since I don't plan to purchase this album, I really must find out who produced these tracks. I think Dok2 might have posted it among his tweets this past month, but hey I was throwing a tantrum and he got unfollowed, so I would need to backtrack his tweets to find out.

Overall It's We EP is a radio-friendly production that appeals more to the commercial public. I swear that Dok2 sweared less in this album compared to the previous stuffs he released this year. Maybe he's been preparing for this commercial step. Good for him, he'll be a household name now, at least to Jaywalkers.

P/S: I smell a new following. How about Ja2walkers? That way we don't have to change the way we pronounce it. Yeay now I bet Dok2 would finally have his own thread on Soompi! Hey don't look at me, I'm saving my energy for BIGBANG's comeback.

My TOP 40s : Korean Pop

2010-07-28T11:21:00.002+08:00

TOP 40 MOST PLAYED KOREAN POP

1)        Digital Bounce (feat. TOP) - Se7en
2)        Boom Boom - Super Junior
3)        Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (feat. Ceejay) - Lee Hyori
4)        Victory Korea - Super Junior
5)        Run Devil Run - SNSD
6)        Y - MBLAQ
7)        Who's Next? (feat. BEAST) - 4Minute
8)        Bonamana - Super Junior
9)        Push Push - SISTAR
10)      Change (feat. Junhyung) - HyunA
11)      Tell Me Goodbye - BIGBANG
12)      Mystery - BEAST
13)      You're My - Taeyang
14)      Maja - 2PM
15)      Geojitmal - BIGBANG
16)      I My Me Mine - 4Minute
17)      Super Girl - Super Junior M
18)     Lollipop (feat. BIGBANG) - 2NE1
19)      MUZIK - 4Minute
20)      Last Farewell - BIGBANG
21)      Coagulation - Super Junior
22)      Rainism (Remix) - Rain
23)      Gee - SNSD
24)      Tell Me - Wonder Girls
25)      Love Song - Rain
26)      U - Super Junior M
27)     Please Don't Go - CL & Minzy
28)      Oh! - SNSD
29)      Sorry Sorry (Remix - Studio Version) - Super Junior
30)      Friend - TOP & Taeyang
31)      Gara Gara Go! - BIGBANG
32)      Chocolate Love (Electronic Pop version) - f(x)
33)     Magic - Secret
34)      Ring Ding Dong - SHINee
35)     Echo - SNSD
36)      It's You (Rearranged - Studio Version) - Super Junior
37)      Turn It Up - TOP
38)      Big Boy [LIVE @ GLOBAL WARNING] - TOP
39)      I Need a Girl (feat. G-Dragon) - Taeyang
40)      So Hot - Wonder Girls

...according to my iTunes.

This is what happens when I'm heartbroken and bored. I do meaningless tedious tasks when I should be sleeping.

TOP 40 MOST PLAYED KOREAN HIP HOP COMING SOON!

Squeeze and squish

2010-07-26T06:52:00.002+08:00

Back in Penang again for the weekend. I had hoped to get some work done so that I'd get a head start before Monday comes. Apparently that is not possible when your mom and 2 precious bundles of joy are eating up all your attention. I'll just dive in straight into work as soon as I reached KL this evening.

*gasps* I need to have another dimension to my life, besides work, soon or I'll die at my desk one of these days. *sighs*

As unfair as it is that I'd have to be away from these precious things, spending TOO much time with your family can have disastrous consequences. Things like your big sister annoying you, and you can't have alone time to just bloody get your things done on the Net, can get to you after a while.

Mehh.

*shrugs*

Eizzat

Eizzat frowns most of the time, and he has a more serious face

compared to his fatter younger brother.

Apparently his will is stronger than his body currently is

and it makes both Maksu and him frustrated.

Be patient now, sweet thing, you'll be getting up

and running sooner than you can imagine.

Eizzaz

Now Eizzaz is a classic baby of the family, which he currently is. He needs to be constantly held and squeezed and squished or he'll start complaining. Not that everyone else had a problem with this behaviour though. Except for me, of course, because I am no longer entitled to my regular squish by my mom.

*throws tantrums*

Still he's my favourite.

Simply because he wants to be ^^

Say Ganu for the weekend? (Part I)

2010-07-05T01:27:00.003+08:00

The 2 years I spent at MRSM Balik Pulau back in high school weren't the best years of my life. I wasn't popular or high-achieving, I was just a mediocre wallflower student.

The only memorable parts were my gorgeous Biology teacher, Puan Syu, whom I admired and looked up to, and my sweet English teacher, Miss Anie, who understood and acknowledged my abilities.
Friends didn't give me a sweet time. A handful did, but most of them easily drifted away when school was over.

They're the reason why I didn't care about class/school reunions. Who would want to remember the worst 2 years of their teenage life and go back to see the people who prolly won't remember you or invite you to their weddings anyway?

However, as I said earlier, there ARE a handful of people who made my time in MRSM Balik Pulau meaningful. Most of them are my classmates that I kept in touch with even after high school was over.

...and as always, spending time with them never fails to give me the time of my life. I spent this past weekend in Kuantan/Terengganu with Farah & Aida, 2 of my closest friends from high school. They're the kind of friends who will never forget about you no matter how distant your life takes you from them.

Right now, Aida works in Terengganu, and the past weekend, Farah and I took a trip to Terengganu to visit her and enjoy Terengganu. We started our vacation with a trip to Bukit Gambang water theme park. I didn't wanna get wet because I wasn't prepared with spare clothings, but they had no reservations.
Bukit Gambang was only recently established, so it isn't as grand as the more popular water theme parks, but honestly, I have nothing but praises for it. While Aida & Farah had a blast at the theme park, I was hanging around the park snapping photos to help me prove my case to my sister that Bukit Gambang should our next family vacation spot.

We spent the night away singing our hearts out at karaoke, which is with no doubt, my favourite pastime, ever. I sang away the first hour but then I dozed off in the next hour, when Aida and Farah took turns to jam to classic karaoke hits. Excuse me, but by that time, I hadn't slept for the past 30 hours, so I couldn't help passing out.

Beaten by the day's activities, the 3 of us drove back to Kerteh to crash at Aida's pad, to recharge for the next day's outings to Kuala Terengganu

...to be continued

Photo post: The power of 9

2010-06-25T13:04:00.004+08:00

from left: Sunny, Hyoyeon, Jessica (or Sica), Seohyun (the youngest), Yoona, Yuri, Taeyeon (the leader), Sooyoung, and Tiffany (or Fany)

Ready to pick your favourite girl(s)?

Yes I have at least 3 favourites in SNSD (Girls' Generation).

They are Hyoyeon, Tiffany, and Seohyun.

Been through spazz phases with every one of the girls though.

I think their special charm is cuteness explosion. Don't get what I mean? Humor me and watch them (links below)

Gee - be careful, gee gee gee gee baby baby baby sticks.
Oh! - still it catches like fire~ oh oh oh oppa~

But hey the girls can be UNF and fierce too:

Genie (Tell Me Your Wish) - some leg action baybehh
Chocolate Love - this had me going like this => (O___O)
Run Devil Run - the black/dark soshi concept. it's my fave SNSD concept by far.

Enjoy!

The thinking process

2010-06-15T03:39:00.004+08:00

I was raised having to constantly live up to high expectations. I am expected to always outdo and outshine everyone and in everything. But still I cannot always be the best.

I'm in my first job, and still the same constant living up to high expectations in every task. Still I fail a lot more than I can stomach.

However when other people does NOT live up to MY supposedly simple expectations, it makes me really frustrated and ready to punch a wall (or a face).
One of my biggest pet peeves is having to repeat myself. Some people actually have the difficulty in grasping the idea of what I'm trying to tell them.

You see, I have met a lot of people who could actually understand me the first time. I have met plenty of them. So when I keep having to repeat myself with this one person, I wonder why I even bothered to have a conversation with him/her in the first place.

This is not when teaching is concerned, this is when you're having a normal day-to-day conversation. I mean, sometimes you'd have to repeat things when you're teaching something to someone, so it's cool, really.
But in normal day-to-day conversations, when the person you're having a conversation with just cannot grasp the idea of where you're having lunch, and you keep having to repeat yourself and/or break down the idea, tell me if you won't feel like hurting someone with something sharp.

Are my expectations too high?
I don't know, but I think that some people take the thinking process lightly and/or not go through the thinking process at all.

Whatever, just remember that we get older everyday, so we should really amp the thinking activity.

P/S: I'm not saying that I'm better than the next person, or that I'm so bright that no one on this planet deserves to have a conversation with me. Just that, I would know if you're trying to have a conversation me without switching your brain on and I won't appreciate it.

So BEAST.

2010-06-12T16:08:00.011+08:00

♥ THIS ♥

*switches into my b2uty mode*

& I appreciate the repackaged Shock of New Era album
& the tee that comes with it.
I hope the organizers will not underestimate the K-Pop fandom again & actually prepare themselves for the craziness.

UPDATED:

It wasn't as fulfilling as I had expected.
A lot of bad taste left behind when the whole thing is over.
But I guess, this mends a little, wouldn't it?

I just wished I had stood in front of Dongwoon or Yoseob instead ^^

I mean, just look at how beautiful Dongwoon is.

*headdesk*

I confessed, happy now?

2010-06-09T20:12:00.003+08:00

Hey you,

So go on, go on and break my heart

I'll be okay

There's nothing you can do to me

That's ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love

Out on the street

I'm fearless

Better believe I'm fearless, fearless

-Fearless, Colbie Caillat

I still wanna love you. ♥

25 days and counting

2010-05-30T19:35:00.000+08:00

Obviously I practise favouritism.

Naturally I would prefer the fatter one.

Eizzaz

Eizzat

P/S: I still don't want children of my own.

Off balance

2010-05-26T00:52:00.003+08:00

I'm happy that my brother and sister had recently had children. Congratulations, I hope they can be good parents. Well if they're not, then God help them.

If someone ever asked me when I'm having children, I'd probably chuckle or just laugh at their faces. Smirk, if I need to be polite. Not this lifetime. I'd prolly have children in another lifetime. You would think that Muslims don't believe in other lifetimes, do we? That's right, we don't. That's how much I "want" children of my own.

Oh I love children, especially children that I don't know.
They look sweeter and more precious when you don't know how they could annoy you.
I especially love babies, because they just CANNOT annoy you.

But you know, adoring children and and raising children of your own are 2 different things.
You can love children, adore them with your entire life & soul, but when raising your own children that's just not enough.

Imagine you had kids when you're 25 years old. You only get that 25 years to yourself, and the rest of your life with the children as the centre of your universe. It's good if you achieve so much by the time you're 25, but what if you didn't? You're not even anywhere in your life, and then you're gonna dedicate the rest of your lives to your children. Somehow that idea doesn't sound too appealing to me.

Besides, having children will throw you off balance. Not only you, but the people around you, too, and that is just not fair. It's your choice to have children of your own, why others need to live through that choice, too?
I have seen this happen so many times. When people have children, nothing else matters to them. The world with so much opportunities, places to go, & people to meet, means nothing to them anymore. The people they used to love & the things they used to enjoy are shamelessly forgotten. Seriously that's not how I want to live my life.

However, this is just my opinion, and everyone else is entitled to their own opinions.
Do you have children? Write to me on how it changes your life.

P/S: Where the fuck is everything in this house? I can't even find a fucking cup. One person had children, & the whole household is thrown off balance I don't even get it.

Put Your Dream to Test

2010-05-25T11:29:00.001+08:00

Hello there~

Feels like it's been quite a while since I posted anything here.

I'm barely getting enough sleep, let alone ideas for a blog entry.

Well anyway, I'm on my way back to Penang.

To be with my family during my one week off work.

ONE WEEK.

I can't remember the last time I was away from work this long.

Trust me I won't miss it.
It had been hell. Well what would you expect from a hellhole?

Things had been crazy at work & with friends, I won't even bother to start writing about them.
Thankfully I still have a handful of worthy friends who inspire me endlessly.
Friends with faith, dreams, hopes, and ambitions with not less love.

YG Entertainment is holding auditions now, for singers, actors, and producers.
A few of my friends from Twitter are auditioning, I'm excited for them ^^
I believe in chasing your dreams.

I bought a book recently, Put Your Dream to Test.
The book comes with a dream map that could act as your journal and guide in putting your act together to achieve your dreams.
There's a problem, though. I'm not sure I even have a dream that's worth the effort.

My dream is to have enough money to travel around the world, experiencing different cultures, and learning everything I can. The problem is, I thought I belong in publishing, but with the least of life I'm living right now, I'd be too tired to even bother to go outside.

What's big money when you don't even have time to get away from the job long enough to spend it?
What's big money, when at the end of day, all you care about is sleeping your ass off, to recharge?
What's big money, when in the end, you don't even know who you are, anymore?

What are your dreams, readers? Tell me about it, and tell me what you're doing to achieve it.
I'll cheer you on ^^

Have some SHINee babies while you think & write to me.

Soon, precious, soon.

2010-05-11T18:30:00.002+08:00

Aren't my twin nephews precious little creatures?

But for now, I couldn't tell which is Eizzat and

which is Eizzaz for the life of me.

Maybe because I haven't met them yet.
Just eat well and get stronger, okay, precious?

Soon, Maksu will come home to see you.

xoxoxo

P/S: Children are always more lovely when they're not your own.

The same explosions in my heart

2010-04-13T09:54:00.001+08:00

When our eyes met, I felt the same sweet explosions in my heart from a year ago.

I'm usually the kind who looks into someone's eyes when I'm talking to them, but when my eyes met his when we spoke, I felt coy inside.

For someone who is as outspoken and bold as myself, this is not good news.

I thought I'm over him, but why does this spark return?

We hang out in a group and talk about things in the group, but the only things I remembered from the conversations were his smiles, how his hair blew in the wind, & the sound of his laughter.

The way things used to be, we need not more than a glance at each other, to know what's on each others' mind.

Are things the same now? It sure does feel the same.

Should I let the feelings return? It was a hopeless situation back then. I didn't wanna go back to being hopelessly in love with him.

Maybe I already let the feelings return. Maybe because my heart is ready for love, again.

Donghae. Is. On. Twitter.

2010-04-09T10:11:00.001+08:00

I was supposed to write about something deep and thoughtful but with the presence of Super Junior (or any K-Pop male idols), my brains turn to mush.

Super Junior's very own Donghae.

YES THE DONG HAE

.......is on Twitter.

I. Must. Remember. Not. To. Reveal. My. Stalker. Personality.

P/S:

1) The Real Shindong confirmed it through his Twitter. Now we clearly know Shin is legit because he's been telling the world (and on SuShow) to follow him on Twitter.

2) It has been said that Donghae confirmed it himself on his cyworld. Unless someone hacked it and posted the announcement there.

Things I couldn't understand

2010-04-03T05:55:00.002+08:00

It scares me that, at the age of 23, there is so much I couldn't understand about the people around me.

I couldn't understand their behaviour, their reactions and their minds.

Am I going to go through life with such ignorance?
Am I going to be like them as I get older?

Would I be ridden with the irrational desire to win that I would destroy relationships?
Would I be so absorbed with material possessions that I will label people by what they own?

Would I be jumping to conclusions without sparing a time to think, JUST BECAUSE I want to hate?
Would I be valuing a boy more than a friend?

It's scary, isn't it?
To think that if you're not careful and you forgot who you really were and where you came from, you could be all the things you never wanted to, in the first place.

Terrifying.

Happy birthday, Thunderground King!

2010-03-28T19:55:00.004+08:00

THIS IS IT

MARCH 28.

The start of history, as he had said it.

It's Dok2's birthday today.

March 28.

Damn I meant to brag about how much of a musical genius he is, but I'm at lost with my words now.

Not exactly the best time to blog, but still someone that I adore this much, deserves a special birthday post on my blog.

...and if you readers, haven't heard of his beats and flow, go on Youtube or something.

This pocket thug of mine is really something, for someone of his age.

Dok2 bb, I'm arranging for a special birthday present for you, but I'm not sure whether it could happen.

Until then, I wish you for all the good things in the world.

Keep the great music coming & I'll prolly stan for you forever!

..& when I have kids, I'll make my kids stan for you, too, no doubt.

Hip hop is the way to go.

Thunderground Muzik rules!

It's pronounced Dok-ki, btw, which means axe, in Korean.

How fitting of him =)

P/S: I personally nicknamed him my pocket thug, which means a little thug, since he looked so little in the vids I have seen from Map the Soul. And thug, because...well just look at that swagger :)

UPDATED:

My dream came true. He's on Twitter.

Can you see my huge silly grin right now?

Yeap that's how happy I am.

Shu-peo-jun-ee-eo

2010-03-21T03:36:00.003+08:00

200 bucks well spent for Super Show II in KL.

I know I shouldn't be surprised that in person, Super Junior looked exactly like they look in the photos we admire, but still I was a little taken aback on how good they actually looked.

Leeteuk looked so fresh-faced and I couldn't take my eyes of Siwon, although originally I had aimed to focus on Heechul.

Henry Lau, looked even better in person than in his photos. So did Kyuhyun.

..and of course Kyu sounded spectacular, so did Yesung.

1.5 hours waiting in line to get in the stadium, and another hour before the show really kicked off, it was all worth it.

I was busy fiddling with my camera that my focus was a little disturbed during the first few performances, but after the batteries for my camera ran out, I was totally into the show.

I'm gonna include some photos that I snapped the best I can from where I was sitting, but the rest of what I got are on Facebook.

The introductory clip that kicked off the show.

Forever Super Junior ♥

I wish I had captured Siwon in this photo.

Oh hayy there Siwon ♥ I stan for him by leaps and bounds starting rn.

Uploaded specially for @Rieanah.
I never thought Teukie could look this good.

Close but not quite. Siwon had many of the close-but-not-quite moments during the concert, WITH MULTIPLE MEMBERS. He's the T.O.P to Super Junior. Think about it, the only member T.O.P didn't already snog in BIGBANG is Taeyang. That would be mindfuck, for real.

What I missed to snap on camera --

but permanently carved on my mind and soul.

1) Their introductions, where Heechul was described as the Dangerous(?-I think that's what I was, I couldn't recall clearly) Cinderella, and Siwon lifted his shirt halfway and wiggled his ass to the crowd. Good times, good times.

2) Solo stages by some of the members. Not everyone had a solo stage, but I personally enjoyed Heechul's, Yesung's, Kyuhyun's and Leeteuk's.

3) Siwon in a fly (yes the insect) costume flashing his abs for about 5 seconds. I practically flew off my seat by the sight of it.

4) Hip thrusts, of course. It wouldn't be K-Pop without hip thrusts.

5) Cuteness explosions. It wouldn't be Super Junior without cuteness explosions.

6) Other spectacular performances -- trust me, every single performance was energetic and perfectly executed.

Kay that's all, go check the other photos out on Facebook. :)

P/S:
1) It wasn't as crowded as I had originally expected and the audience members were friendly and well-behaved, so it was a good experience.
2) At first I thought, it was a shame that according to the initial graphic of the seating arrangements, our seats would be a little too far from the stage. However, when we were actually seated, we could actually see the stage, even the faces of Super Junior, clearly
3) As much I had enjoyed Chu~ ♥, I was originally hoping for Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby, because as you know I stan hard for SNSD.

Feel the Heechul.

2010-03-14T20:57:00.003+08:00

HARD FACTS:

Yes this is Kim Heechul
Yes he is a member of Super Junior, the K-Pop act I'm going to see in concert this coming Saturday
Yes he is this week's Idol of The Week here on this blog
Yes HE IS A MAJOR CUTE CASE.
Yes, I love him, kthxbye.

Can you feel the Heechul-ness now?

Why Thailand?

2010-03-06T07:17:00.003+08:00

2PM and the rest of what's hot in Korean Pop are coming down to Thailand early April for a free concert by MNet.

WHY THAILAND WHYYY?

It's a risky trip to take to Thailand if I was to go.
Since it's a free concert, half of Thailand, half of Singapore and probably a quarter of Malaysia would be there.
Not the mention Indonesians and Filipinos.

Would the flight tickets and accommodation be worth it? It's not like, I have that much money to burn.

I'd probably wouldn't be able to make it into the venue with the mob of people expected to be there.
....but 2PM would be there, y'know? *cough*JUNSU*cough*
....and 2AM who made me tear up countless times with their beautiful singing.
....and baby Dong-Ho of U-Kiss, not the mention the beautiful Lee Joon of MBLAQ.

Luckily BIGBANG, DBSK, Wonder Girls and SNSD won't be there, because if they were to perform, Thailand would collapse with the amount of people who would be there at one time.

Besides, in April, I'm expected to pay for the class reunion island trip scheduled in July.

If it's held in Malaysia then it's a whole different case. I could go through anything to make it to the concert.

...and just so you know, this is me making excuses why I won't be attending the concert.
They're pretty solid for excuses, aren't they?

Think.

2PM's Ang Ang

2010-03-04T12:01:00.002+08:00

I know I said that Idol of the Week would be on Saturdays, but Dongwoon ran past its course, and Yoseob did a shorter stint because of that.

With all the 2PM drama this week, my bias grew for Wooyoung. I just wanna steal him and protect him from all the drama LOL.

Since I promised @rinisholida, I'd have F.T. Island's Jonghun (as you can see) as Idol of the Week, once Yoseob's stint is over, I'm just gonna make a photo post of Wooyoung.

Just because he's my tiny Woodong with his poisonous cheeks. XD

Gdiaf, like, rn prz.

2010-03-04T10:36:00.002+08:00

Berbuih-buih maki dalam hati untuk jenis manusia yang time kecik2 tak nak mampos, dah besar menyusahkan orang.

For my international followers that might be reading this and wonder what it meant, what I said ran somewhere along the lines of

SOME PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY SAVE THE WORLD OF THEIR EXISTENCE AND GDIAF.

Not you gaiz, of course. Just some people that I meet on daily basis.

The shortcakes

2010-02-18T23:56:00.002+08:00

Ihsan & Damia the Strawberry Shortcake

Sometimes children are not so bad.

They can be cute, adorable, lovable, and makes you go, awww,

but then again, other kinds of pets can have that kind of effect too.

I'm still not sure whether I'd like to have my own kids later in life.
I think I have seen enough around me, how bad upbringing can be damaging.
I'm happy to babysit, but please, I'd rather not be ultimately responsible

of the upbringing of another human being.

I'm struggling to keep my life in check, seriously, I can't be responsible for another life.

See you again

2010-02-18T23:36:00.005+08:00

First of all, I'd like to thank & welcome my new followers on this blog.

I have no idea how you lovely & interesting people found my blog, but I appreciate your time reading and responding to my blog posts.

I enjoy reading your blogs too, they're all very inspiring & interesting.

Thank you again and it's very nice to meet all of you :)

It felt weird going through 4 days without the internet, while I was away for a family vacay in Melaka.

The thing with K-Pop scene is anything can happen in one day. In fact, a lot of things can happen.

One day away from Twitter, can mean hours of scrolling through the tweets, trying to catch up on the conversation.

However, life goes on without Twitter or Korean Pop.

Okay, maybe not Korean Pop. Even when I'm away from the computer, I still listen to Korean pop music for at least 5 hours each day, at work, or off work.

Still, life goes on.

Melaka was amazing.

The city is dripping with culture, museums and exhibitions about everything, everywhere. My kind of town <3

4 days are simply not enough to just go around the Melaka town, and all we did was shopping and visit a few historical sites.

We had to leave the visits to countless museums for another visit, because there was just not enough time.

I didn't take my camera with me, because I'm just too lazy to keep all my gadgets in check for the trip, so most of the photos are on my mom's camera. Not that I'm exactly trippin' on selcas anyway.

Melaka town, I will see you again. For now, keep this piece of my heart with you, until I go back to retrieve it from you <3

P/S: It's BEAST's magnae, Dong Woon's turn for Idol of the Week this week. Yeap, he's the REAL magnae, people. If only Yo Seob wasn't just too cute to be true, we would have been all over this dude.

You can't just ditch everything, can you?

2010-02-07T19:00:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt that you'd just like to quit the live you're living and go be someone else?

But in the end you'd just have to put up with the same kinda shit everyday, dealing with people you have grown to hate everyday.

This is because you can't just quit your life and ditch everything.

What choice do you have but to make your current life work?

What choice do you have but to try and pretend that things don't bother you?

Because you just can't quit your life and be someone else.

You can't just ditch everything, can you?

Well I wish I can.
At least I wish that people would just fucking leave me alone.

Even things that I used to love from before has grown to annoy me lately.
Classic case of "I didn't love you like I loved you yesterday".

P/S: Thanks Elise, I'd rather be convinced that 'the tougher the road, the better the reward would be' rather than the common overly-used 'you can get over this'

I don't need to be reminded how painful school was

2010-02-05T18:04:00.004+08:00

It's finally the end of the business week. At least on my end.

I choose to work from home on the final business day of the week.

Mostly because my colleagues are having this back-to-school party in the office,

one that I'd rather not attend.

I just wanna work, damnit.

No offense, but socializing isn't really a big part of my professional life these days.

As long as I maintain a favourable professional relationship with my colleagues, then I'm cool.

Not exactly trippin' on trying to make friends there.

What kind of friends can you make in a snakepit like that?

There are some really cool and honest people in there I guess,
but I'm not exactly too excited to care more.

The way they couldn't care less about me.

I just want to be left alone, not be seen, not be spoken to on personal matters,
just plainly be ignored.

That should sit well with me.

Thing is, I get involved with people,
and that's the worst thing that can happen to you in the snakepit.

Had a short meeting with my team leader before I left the office just now.

She said I'm on the right track and we'll work on something more next week.

As excited as I am about what to expect next week,

my heart will never return to its spirited condition.

A lot of times, evil, paralysing thoughts keep creeping into my head and bring me down.

I want to fight it, but sometimes I have the strength,

sometimes I'm just a puddle of unorganized mess.

I'm just tired of trying to be good, because all these while, it brings me nothing but hardship.

Everyone else can be a douchebag and still get treated well,

I want to see how that works for me.

Spare the judgement, you're not who I am.

& I didn't even bother to judge you.

Day 1: With Gritted Teeth

2010-02-02T19:10:00.003+08:00

Today is the 1st day of my improvement plan at work.

7.5 hours of gritting my teeth and struggling to keep my focus when hate & anger bubbled in my heart.

I didn't smile to anyone but my close friend, GG, and my colleague of a housemate at work.

The bright fluorescent lights didn't help illuminate my gloomy view of the office.

I didn't even have an appetite to eat, all I want to do is keep working and working, until the 7.5 hours are over.

Then I slipped out of the office, still not acknowledging anyone.

Everytime someone comes close to my desk, I wished hard that he/she didn't try to speak to me, because I really can't handle a polite conversation then, without biting someone's head off, or being rude.

My team leader has been really supportive, & I trusted her, although you can't really trust anyone in the snakepit.

If I'm in the wrong, I want to make it right. I want to prove to everyone that I'm not the problem here.

To think of the sacrifices I made being in this job, and that people still thought that I didn't take my job seriously breaks my heart in inexplicable ways.

The friends I meet at work, are the only friends I have, my only confidantes.

I trusted, loved, cared about them, but in the end, everyone would rather trust the mad dog and the lies she told about me.

So the only thing that is left to do is just work my ass off and my heart out.

I refuse to believe that I won't get good at something.

With enough faith and hardwork, anyone can do anything.

Another thing I need to work on now is not be bitter and return to my polite & respectful ways.

It's a difficult task when you have general hate for everyone, for turning their backs on you, for believing lies about you, when you have nothing but love and trust for them.

However, like I said, with enough faith and hardwork, there's nothing I can't do.

& even the sight of the mad dog breaks my spirit every single day, I'll come back with a new spirit every single day.

I'll shove it in her face one day with, "You ain't got nothin' on me, dogface."

P/S: BIGBANG wrapped BIG SHOW 2010 in South Korea yesterday. Whenever the song Until Whenever started playing on my media player, I sobbed real hard. Feels that my humble love didn't go to waste.

Being the bigger person.

2010-02-01T17:32:00.003+08:00

I have always been told that I should be the bigger person.

That's what my mother keep telling me as I'm growing up.

Let others do to you, but never do unto others.

So that's what I always try to do, with much difficulties and resistance.

Then as I faced the real life on my own, without my mommy on my back, I discovered that that's all bullshit.

There will be people who would be unhappy with you no matter how good you try to be.

Just because you don't bitch about people, that won't mean they won't bitch about you.

Just because you won't lie or cheat, doesn't mean people won't cheat or lie at you.

Being polite & respectful to other people, doesn't always mean you'll get the same treatment.

Everyone tells me that I should ignore that, and be the bigger person, as if I have no emotions and that these things don't bother me, when it really does.

I'm supposed to keep a positive mindset and be happy when all these things stress me out and makes me cry.

..and of course be a bigger person and not retaliate.

Everywhere I go I'm almost always the youngest, but almost always I would have to put up with the bullshit that people older than me give me.

I mean, if they're so 'adult' and calls me a kid and all, shouldn't they be the bigger person and stop these high school behaviour?

The only thing good about being the bigger person is that I don't fill my time with hate, and able to enjoy the little things in life.

But I still wake up thinking about what I did to deserve the bullshit.

..and cry myself to sleep, because I can't figure it out.

If a kid like me did something wrong, shouldn't the supposedly 'adults' teach me how should I be doing things the right way?

How else do I learn?

I'm always willing to listen and learn from people around me.

I'm always willing to work harder to improve myself

I'm always willing to be influenced into something better.

As long as you have the patience to guide and teach me, I will have the patience to learn and improve.

But if you hate me, trust me, even this little harmless bunny, can hate you back. Hard.

And my weapon against you won't only be hurtful words.

I have a dangerous temper you won't like to witness.

P/S: Take pride in this haters, because my 1st 16 bars will be about you. Ughh but yeah, hate works for rap music.

Random Snippets #2

2010-01-24T07:28:00.004+08:00

Seriously I have nothing serious to blog about this time round. Maybe random updates in point form, about what's happening in my life lately.
Yeah, trufax, I summarize my life in point form a lot, lately.

It's confirmed. Linie and I are going to the Super Show this time round! Waiting in line for the tix on the 1st day of pre-sale was hell. I only got my ticket after nearly 10 hours of waiting in line. & I only sat down for 15 mins throughout the period, to have my lunch. In my honest opinion, the organizer and/or ticket vendor and/or whoever in charge, could have done better in organizing, really. If you can't manage the fans during your ticket pre-sale, can you imagine what's gonna happen on the day of the concert? This is fandom we're talking about. I hope you learned your lesson and not underestimate fandom again, next time round. *pats on the back*

I will be moving out from Vista Pinggiran. Still around Seri Kembangan, just not at Vista. I'll be having a bigger room & I could infest my room with K-Pop posters. I only had 4 so far, but I have plans for expansion :)

I'm still working where I was before. Things are still crappy, but I'm torn to leave. I don't have another job waiting for me, and I do kinda love what I'm doing. It's the conditions of the job that frustrated me a lot. Honestly the job is pretty cool & I honestly love it.

I'm thinking of doing some K-Pop writing/editing for The K-Pop Nation. The website isn't launched yet and I'm not too sure I'm accepted on the bandwagon yet, but I'm nervous anyhow. Now we all know, I'm not exactly the best writer around, and my real-life job is very demanding (not to mention annoying). However it has always been my dream to write about something I love, and get it published. So I'm gonna keep on fighting through! Bunny hwaiting!

Apparently I talk to @Rieanah, @EliseHa & @Caylistra every single day. In fact more than I talk to my irl friends. I'm pretty sure that's not exactly healthy but most of the ppl I meet irl are NOT into K-Pop and/or bash the music I listen to AND they whine/bitch about everything/everyone. Not all of my irl friends are like that, but trust me, most of them. I talk a huge deal with my housemate and this other colleague who is my closest friends since our training days (at work), and another fangirl colleague,...........that's about it. I appreciate, respect & love all my other irl friends, but we just don't talk on daily basis, as we're not exactly on the same wavelength.

That's pretty much it, I guess. Talk to you again, soon :)

P/S: A new idol is up on Idol of the Week section! Check it out!