.Phrankenlife.

Dumbness is not a privilege

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:04:00 +0000

The thing that amazes me the most in life is how people speaks so efficiently and confidently of the things they have little to no knowledge about.
I usually avoid doing that because it will make me look stupid.
Since I'm not pretty, I can't really afford looking stupid, y'know.

When I told my uncle that I have plans to quit my current job and go back to Penang, he called me a quitter and a failure.
He thinks I should suck it up and keep a positive mind. What are the assurances that another workplace would have better conditions?
He really should meet the people I work with, he would fork himself with the amount of negativity going around where I work.

I should have laughed into his face, but instead I broke down and cried because I feel that I'm in this alone.
Fake friends who take advantage of me and unsupportive family, when my job is driving me insane and breaking me down.

...and what's so great about living in the city anyway?
Apparently my sister and my uncle are so worked up about keeping me in the city and bringing my mother here.
Living in the city is just overrated.
..and no one listens to me when I said that I'm just not suitable living in the city.

This is where music comes in handy.
I find solace in music.
I find comfort in music
...and of course, like always, no one will understand.
Well, see if I cared.

You don't know, you don't know, you don't know Dok2

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:16:00 +0000

In case you haven't figured out, apart from Korean Pop, jazz/swing, I'm heavily into Hip Hop, too.

Seriously, if you're a hip hop fan, give Dok2's music a chance.
Boy's got a smooth flow and his beats are sick.
Not too sure about this, but I heard he composed AND produced the stuffs himself.

So maybe Korean Pop ain't your thing, but try Korean Hip Hop, if it's your cup of tea.
I have been looping Dok2's (pronounced Dok-EE) latest EP, Thunderground since yesterday.
Having nothing but sweet praises for the boy.

Keep doing your thing, Dok2, I'm paying attention.
Peace & out.

Listen to the teaser of Dok2's latest EP, Thunderground

Thanksgiving weekend.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 01:35:00 +0000

Ohhh my first long weekend in months!
I'm getting 2 extra days off work because of Thanksgiving, so yeah 4-day weekend, ho yeah!
But, it's not like I can escape work or anything, these dual text cleanup pages need to be fixed.

But at least, I can do all that AND spazz with my fellow fangirls online.
Work had been tight and I hardly had any time and/or space to breathe.
Glad that my mom is visiting, so I get to cuddle like a baby.
Yes I still do that, and if you have a problem, 1 2 step to the left please.

There is something that I was thinking of earlier and wanted to blog about, but as always by the time, I got on blogger, it had gone POOF!
Something philosophical
Something deep
Something meaningful.

Apparently those kind of things don't stick to my mind very long.
I'm one shallow bunny, you should know.

Netizen fury [POST UPDATED]

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 01:19:00 +0000

[ORIGINAL POST REMOVED]

I removed the original post with the fear that someday if I get famous, someone will dig it from my blog and get me in trouble.

I'm just gonna keep my congratulatory message to Kwon Jiyong a.k.a BIGBANG's G-Dragon

G-Dragon,

Congratulations for winning Album of the Year award! Not for one second we doubted it. We all know how hard you worked on that, we appreciated it, and it has been recognized in the K-Pop scene. Korean Dream performance was epic. I love it when you do that, everytime anyone doubted your abilities, you come up with something awesome that screams, "TAKE THAT HATERS!"
Don't listen to them, they don't know what they're talking about, because they're not looking at what you are doing and what you could do, they're just hating.
We are looking forward for more of your brilliance, bring it on, boo!
*throws confettis*

Life would be perfect, then.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:37:00 +0000

I really should tackle that dual text cleanup review already, but before I do, there's something I'd like to share.
Kama asked me yesterday, how do I imagine my life would be in the future?
Something like, the kind of life I dreamed of having in the future.
I can't answer him then, but I think I have an answer now.

I'd like to live in a beach house, in a foreign country. It can be a modest one or luxurious, I don't really mind, as long as it's by the beach. I'd like to live a simple life with my future husband, and earn a living teaching children. I'd prefer a husband who earns a lot of money, though, because we all know you don't earn that much teaching children.

Yeah, life would be perfect then.. :)

[TRANSLATED LYRICS] Wedding Dress - Taeyang

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:31:00 +0000

You and he would argue

Then sometime tears would drip.
As you’re struggling, I felt the rays of hope
My heart s-s-shattered in the silence
And I would calm down as I look at your smile

I conceal and hide my feelings away from you
Because if you find out, we may be no longer together.
I hold my breath
And bite my lips
Then I hope that she’s by my side, not his.

Baby, please don’t hold his hands
Cuz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting forever, so please look at me.

Once the music starts
You’ll take the eternal pledge with him
I prayed and hoped
that this day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing (dress)
(Girl) The wedding dress you’re wearing
(but I’m not the one who’s by your side)
(Wedding dress, dress )
The wedding dress you’re wearing, oh no

I hated you
for not understanding how I felt.
So at one point, I even wished for your misery.
But my tears were already d-d-dried up.

Every night I felt anxious
and now if I think about it, I might have already foreseen this event.
I close my eyes,
And dream an endless dream.
Then I hope that she’s by my side, not his.

Baby, please don’t hold his hands
Cuz you should be my lady

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

God, I wish for Youngbae never to go through this kind of pain in his life, ever.
*sobs*

[LYRICS] Keepsake - Estrella

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:15:00 +0000

Quiet stranger
Eyes so soft they speak
He had me at hello
His scent it leaves me weak

c/o
Of all the places
He wound up at my door
Of all the cities
Why didn’t we meet before

Hiding glances
I wish you’d catch my eye
For you I linger
The silent noise like trains collide
Help me swallow foolish pride

I can’t explain this
I’m tired of stupid lies
I won’t talk to strangers
But you make me break inside

Now I’m all awake inside
Come on and make things right 2x

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song is so beautiful that it made me dizzy with emotions. I mean it, dizzy in my head, with unexplainable emotions in my heart. Brilliant lyrics. I wish I'm that brilliant to write something this beautiful. Maybe someday...

Wedding Dress APPROVED!

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:57:00 +0000

If you liked how this looks, wait until he gets on stage & dance.

OH YESS.

YES FINALLY.

It's out.

Wedding Dress has been released yesterday.

MV = Taeyang-goodness overload

Song = No auto-tuning of his beautiful voice

Overall, YES ME LOVE,

My no. 2 man, Taeyang, you owned the day.

Kthxbai.

The one who pwned

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:05:00 +0000

Beautiful Tabi

Rogue Tabi

UNF Tabi

Not transgendered.
Pretty sure not gay.

Just amazing :)

ILYSFM

My Sincere Apology

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:02:00 +0000

For my 400th post on Phrankenlife, I feel obligated to provide an explanation to my twitterverse followers.

It must have frustrated my non-fandom followers because most of my tweets, are loaded with K-Pop content.
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY.
It's just that twitter has been my main source for K-Pop updates.
Quick snappy updates on what's happening in K-Pop world.

I held a lot of fandom-related conversations on Twitter too, and it must have flooded your Twitter/Home like mad. For that, I'm honestly sorry.
Seriously, do both of us a favour and unfollow me, because I'd like to keep our real-life friendships intact.
I won't be taking it personally, because our real life friendships mean so much more to me than some silly Twitter feud.

Love, @Bunniness

The day that f(x) took me.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:36:00 +0000

Honestly, I hate peppering my personal blog talking about how I like some K-Pop MV, because I could be doing that on Tumblr.
However, this needs to come out here, because I'd like comments, pretty please?

Remember when I said that La Chata was a cruel joke by SM? (K-Note #4)?
Got us all excited about Asia's top dance pop female group, etc, etc., then let f(x) debut with La Chata which was just mehhh~

I didn't bother to listen to Chu~ when it first came out, because I wasn't excited about f(x) anyway since La Chata.
Thanks to Youtube, I stumbled upon the MV for Chu~
OH BOY I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I MISSED.

It took me.
Head over heels, it took me.
I clearly don't know who's who in the MV, but everyone looking uber adorable w/o being trashy or OTT.
...and Amber, was she wearing leather pants in there? WIN WIN WIN.
(you should know that I have a girl crush on Amber)

Oh & the choreography? Smart & enchanting :) THUMBS UP!

Now this is when some knowledge on f(x) could help me out A LOT.
Please someone enlighten me and answer these for me.

1) Who is that pouting cutie at 0:05?

2) ..and the gorgeous one with the long hair at 0:06?

3) ...oh &the cutesy princess at 0:09? (does counting motion at 0:35)

4) Lovin' the girl at 1:08, but who?

5) 1:13 - 1:20 : Who's that girl who was dancing in front, the one with the red shirt? Fierce little thing.

Finally, 2:01 -- 2:05 : Where have I seen this dance move before?

Watch CHU~ by f(x)!

Okay these are the questions that boggle my mind at the moment.
Fandom-minna san, yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

EDITED (1) : @ItzMimi02 has identified 1) as Sulli, 2) as Krystal, Jessica's (of SNSD) sister, 3) as Sulli, again, 4) (still asking for clarifications from her), & 5) as Luna
Dance move at 2:01 -- 2:05 --> We're still wondering where else we saw it!

EDITED (2): She said 4) is Victoria. Okay so far, I have loved Amber, Sulli, Krystal, Victoria, & Luna. Oh wait, that's ALL the girls in f(x) right? So like, there's something about each one of them that I love? OH WOW. Talk about girl domination.

Open Letter: Love.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:24:00 +0000

I had to make this an open love letter, because there is no where I can tell you for real how I feel about you.

I think I'm in love with you.
No, I think we're in love.
You don't want admit it, because it's all wrong.
I just don't care about what's wrong and right anymore.

It's not fair, you see, when that person who had you, couldn't love you the way I do.
That person wanted different things from you, I just wanted you.

................................
There are more things I wanted to say, but I don't know how.
All of my thoughts are in a frenzy now, and I just can't put them down here in an understandable order.

I love you.
There you go.
You know how I'm always afraid to say this 3 words.
I cannot commit to anything, you should know that too.

But right now, I want to commit to you.
I get to love you, but I won't get to call you mine.
I'm just gonna have to watch you rise and fall because of the kind of love that you said was 'right', unlike my wrongful love.

When the day comes that you'd accept the fact that we are in love, then I'll be here, waiting.
You know you could always count on me, for anything.

Love, your girl

EDITED: When I read it over and over again, it sounds like something out of a JoBros love song, maybe I should turn this into lyrics. It's original, really, straight from my heart. Now if I could find a tune to go with it....

Discussion: Familiarity with foreign languages (via Fangirltainment.com)

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:38:00 +0000

From Fangirltainment

Q: When you first got into Korean entertainment, did you have trouble with names? Do you still?
A:Oh most definitely. My first K-Pop love is BIGBANG. & I can only remember G-Dragon & T.O.P's name. I recognize their faces, but the names just took me longer to remember. It didn't take long (still a fangirl rookie), now it just comes naturally. I learned the names faster than I remembered the faces *winks*

Q: Speaking of Hangul, how many of you learned Hangul after falling in love with K-entertainment?
A: Like officially learned it? I didn't. I wanted to, but not for the moment. I learned singing it, using romaji lyrics and all, but it usually took me a lot of times listening to a Korean song, for me to pick the words up. & if you heard me singing any Korean song fluently, you can really imagine, how obsessively have I heard the song.

Q: To build on all of this, would you say you’ve picked up a lot of Korean vocabulary from watching/hearing and even reading (news articles often keep words like oppa/unni/ajusshi/ajumma/sunbae/hoobae/etc. untranslated) things related to Korean entertainment?
A: Not a lot, really. I'm still having trouble using the words correctly. So I'd rather not.

Q: ALTHOUGH, I have done some self-teaching of Korean. Has anyone else?
A: I plan to. I have learned Japanese in the past ( and likewise, it flew out of my brain so fast -- because I don't have anyone to use it with), so I am more comfortable in Japanese than in Korean. For eg, I learned & be able to sing along BIGBANG's Japanese songs so much faster, compared to their Korean song.

Q: As a last note, do you mind when subbers translate words that have no equivalent in English?
A: I kind of mind, because it confuses me, and jeopardized my Korean-language learning process, but overall I'm just thankful that they're subbing at all.

You don't wanna miss Dara's Kiss.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:08:00 +0000

Awake & bored at 6 am Sunday morning.
& I hate my new blogger layout.

Being the dunce that I am, I did not save my previous blogger layout that I love, for reasons that still escape me until now. Oh wait..because I'm not too bright *slaps forehead*!

I have just listened to Sandara Park's single, Kiss. Catchy Korean Pop, as always. Oh but wait, it featured CL..so YEAY! My love for CL & Minzy of 2NE1 is similar for the thing I have for TOP & Taeyang of BIGBANG. Most of the times, I just really can't decide, when you ask me who my favourite member is.

I wanted to browse Youtube, but trust me my internet connection has an annoying sense of humour, on top of being temperamental.

Maybe I should just go back to sleep or drive myself nuts with Sandara's KISS.
Wait that sounds a little wrong, no? *chuckles*

New layout: shakes head IDTS.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 09:37:00 +0000

What do you think of my new layout?
I seriously think that it's lame-o.
I liked my previous blogger layout so much better.
Now look how I ruined everything.

The only thing I liked about this layout is that posted photos would look a lot better compared to when I was using my previous layout.

Well BOO HOO.
It's done so I should get over it and move on to happier things :)
Besides, things can always get better.
In time, I'll keep updating and touching up the look of this blog, and it will be just as satisfying as the previous layout.

I actually have other plans besides sleeping this weekend.
Seriously, for the past few weeks, I have spent weekends sleeping my ass off.
I don't always eat or sleep well during the weekdays, because of my job.
So weekends are for wasting myself away with catching up on my snooze.

I have a lot of new BIGBANG videos, courtesy of my fangirl-sunbae, Izyan, but I didn't bring my thumbdrive to work today, so I had to leave in my PC in the office. So, I'm left with the Internet to entertain myself this weekend. That is if, the internet connection didn't throw tantrums.

Final note: I'm thinking of getting a life-sized standee using this photo for my birthday (in June -- need a lot of time to save). A-okay?

Happy birthday, Seung-hyun..

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:45:00 +0000

IT'S NOVEMBER 4TH.

Now fellow fangirls, you should know what that means.

It's my gorgeous-sweet-amazing T.O.P's birthday.

Choi Seung-hyun

Choi-T.O.P

T.O.P-hyung

BIGBANG's Big Boy

Tabi.

However you choose to address him, we all love him to bits *Now don't we?*

Well okay I do.

Mannn I wish I could write something meaningful and sweet and nice here for our Big Boy, but my mind is just blank at the moment. Same thing would happen if he personally stood before me.

Well here goes (I guess?)

Choi Seung-hyun, have a blessed birthday, I love you....(excuse the smaller font, but I'm just shy.)

Oh well, that's about it I guess. See the thing is, I don't say the 3 words so easily, so when I actually said it, it means all the great things in the world and in my heart for the recipient. I guess it's so much easier, when he's that korean pop idol who is miles and miles away, and he can't break your heart for real.

For more spazzing on T.O.P, visit my tumblelog: http://phrankenlife.tumblr.com

I'm officially in a great mood today, even after a sucky day at work.

EDITED: Had the awesomest time making #happybdaytop a trending topic on Twitter. THE BEST, I tell you. Work is never fun, but I'll keep this joy pinned in my heart for extra strength tonight. WORKING, of course.

I believe in cute smiles to save the day.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:24:00 +0000

OMGAH electricity had been out in my home since yesterday & I have been deprived of my daily Internet dose, especially the K-Pop updates from Twitter.

Semalam terpaksa tidur dalam kegelapan dan kepanasan sebab it's Sunday and we can't get any electrician to come down to our place and fix it. First thing Monday (10 AM OKAYH), report kerosakan kat management office but had to wait until nearly 7 PM, for the resident electrician to come and fix it. Memang panas hati lah, sbb mula2 janji pukul 10 am, then 1 pm, then 5 pm, in the end dkat 7 pm baru dia muncul. Dah la nak kena keje malam, bayangkan sakitnya hati tak leh nak tido sbb kepanasan.

Well anyway, after taking the whole day to show up, it took him less than 30 minutes to fix what's broken. That lucky mofo had the cutest smile (for a Malay guy), so nak marah pun tak jadi, as I was reduced to a giggling fit of embarassment around him (note: I hate how girly I have become lately).

Nasib baik hari ni masuk keje at 11 pm, so I get an extra hour or two to sleep (or surf the Net -- told ya I have been deprived).

K-Note #7: I have recently been girl-crushing real hard on Amber of f(x). Well yeah, when f(x) first debuted, she didn't really stand out, so I didn't really see her. However, for some reasons, as I was on Google to look for fresh hairstyles for a couple of friends, I am seeing a lot of the styles I like in Amber. In addition to that, she's just uber adorable. Gawd gawd gawd I can just look at that cutie forever. Visit my Tumblelog for more of Amber-cuteness!

[translated] Let Me Hear Your Voice - BIGBANG

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:24:00 +0000

The rain just now has stopped
The smell of asphalt is floating around the city
Hey, over there too, the weather is fine already right?
For the weather has cleared up from the west
Since you’re not a morning person
Everyday, will you be able to wake up properly?
I’m still worried about things like that

The spreading sky, the freedom
Although neither of them has changed
Right now, just that… it’s only just that you are not by my side

Let me hear your voice
If we become honest, surely
We’ll be able to understand each other
Please open your heart
Let me hear your voice
The path we have come is, for us, definitely
An important STEP to that future

The first time I met you was
Around this season right?
The light up street was
Glowing beautifully
The crybaby-you, from that time on, often
Laid your forehead on my shoulder
You were crying right? That extreme warmth
From your touch on my shoulder

Everyone lives, carrying his own worry
Desperately holding his broken heart

Let me hear you voice
If we become more kind
We’ll be able to love each other
Don’t avert my eyes
Let me hear your voice
Let’s get over those entwined anxieties and loneliness
The feelings of this moment become our bond

Yeah, Since you went away hasn’t been the same
In my heart all I got is pain
Could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can’t maintain
Sunlight moonlight you lit my life realize in the night
while love shines bright
Cant let you go we’re meant forever baby let me know

This past without you, Can’t forget you
Letting me be the cloud hanging above me
Raining on me missing you touch
Nights get long and it’s hard to clutch
We’re apart breaks my heart
Its all for the best girl you’re my world
In time my love unfurls
He will then wait for you girl

Let me hear your voice
If we become honest, surely
We’ll be able to understand each other
Please open your heart
Let me hear your voice
The path we have come is, for us, surely
An important STEP to that future

Source : iBigbang Fansite
Credits to : aleee@iBigbang Fansite

----------------------------------------------------------------

Damn this song is beautiful. Both the melody and the lyrics are just beautiful. Kudos Big Bang!

The one that was never here

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:15:00 +0000

I thought I had forgotten how is it like to be in love.
Had I really forgotten how it felt like, or had I been in denial all these while?

I like the idea of love.
I want to be in love again.
I want to remember how it feels like.
I'd like the warmness of love to envelope my bitter heart.
I'd like another person's hand to fill my palm lovingly.
I'd like cool lips kissing my forehead and a warm smile striking my heart cold.

It's like there is someone, who is already doing all these, but it's just a blurry image.
It's like I'm getting faceless visions of that someone who I love and loves me back.
I miss him, but he is not there. He was never here.

Who are you, really?
& are you looking to find me now, the way I am looking to find you..?

Oh God, I must be losing my mind *sigh*!

Halloween blues

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:19:00 +0000

Project Align @ WKESP this year is going to have a major Halloween party & I'm bummed up because I can't think of anything to weaaarrr. Major crisis here, because wet blankets will serious be pranked, and I don't think they're kidding.

Kalau tak pakai tudung, boleh jd G-Dragon or Honey-Senpai (of Ouran Hostobu) >.<

Tim suggested jadi one of the Korean Pop Idols I adore. I'm seriously thinking T.O.P, & I just need to add 2 things to my wardrobe to imitate T.O.P. One I have been desperately wanting since last month, and another could be of use in the future. Oh wait I need skinny jeans. PFFT. As if I could fit in one of those..ROFL. Ha lg satu, the studded mask, where am I gonna find one of that again?

So even w/o the skinny jeans & studded mask (dah la pakai tudung), will the T.O.P look work?

DITTO. IDTS.

Daya kreativiti saya mmg lemah tahap gaban. ORZ

HUWAAA HELP! *burts into tears*

Phrankenlife @ Tumblr

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:57:00 +0000

WOOHOO.
I'm finally on Tumblr.

I'm kinda liking it's style.
Visit Phrankenlife @ Tumblr to see my mini ramblings!

Strung on Tabi

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:24:00 +0000

It's Friday and I'm off work.
Even though I cherish staying home and catching up on Big Bang videos on YouTube, having a fever and a major headache are such killjoys.

It's Big Bang Friday on the TKPA blog & G-Dragon's Butterfly MV is released today.
I have been waiting for Big Bang Friday for weeks, but it finally came, my head hurts too much to fully enjoy it.
Oh well, that's life!

I'm currently watching a TMO video of Big Bang's NII Fall photoshoot, and T.O.P is looking like all kinds of things inside it. All the good things (and some bad things that I still like), of course.

With all the rookies bursting into the K-Pop scene recently, I'm still strung on T.O.P.
I hope your solo act comes soon, Tabi. It would be one of the things I shall look forward to, next year (hopefully, pleeaassee >.<)

T.O.P right here

It was mehhh.

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:07:00 +0000

FUYOHH.
Hari ni hari pertama turun padang bermain futsal.
Truthfully, I'm never a fan of football & I had never watched a futsal game once in my life.
God help me, but I can't kick a ball to save my life.
I just couldn't get the game :(

Under the watchful eyes of a couple of helpful colleagues, I had a kick or two around with the girls and it was pretty fun. But still, no spark.

Brought my faithful basketball along, but there was no one to play with & it got pretty boring shooting hoops on your own.

I'd probably not go to futsal again.

Wait, okay maybe another time or two, to make sure I'm not judging futsal too quickly.
Futsal is one of the things in life that deserves another chance with me.

Besides, everyone looked like they were enjoying it, so I wonder what I'm missing here.

K-Note #6: I just heard SHINee's new album - 2009, The Year of Us. Not dissappointing & I'm impressed, I'd say. A handful of songs like JoJo, Y.O.U, & Ring Ding Dong quickly became my favourites. Prior to this, apart from Replay & SHINee World, I don't care so much about SHINee. But with this album, they had a new, more polished, & matured look, and I'm paying attention. Keep up the good work, baby boos! I'm paying attention now :)

Faith has found its way to me

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:43:00 +0000

It's Monday morning and I should be in the office in 19 hours.

But here I am worrying about the looming workload.
Can I clear dual text cleanup for 4 states in the last weeks of October and all November?
Can I do all that in addition to other TUG work?
Can I make it happen?
I'd like to believe that I can, & I'm willing to work hard to make it happen, but like I said, I can't be sure about anything now.

I'm just not as good as the rest of LEG team member, and I admit it.
It's not that I tried less, in fact I have worked even harder.
But the results are just not up to par.
Trust me, no one is more dissappointed in me than myself right now.

If I know what's wrong with me, and why couldn't I be like everyone else, then probably I won't be worrying about work on the weekends.

I care about my job.
Despite what I said, and what I plan to do in the future, I still care about this job.
I care about doing my best.
I care about my team's performance.
I care about making my superiors proud of me.

Now is not the right time to be losing my focus on my job.
But the other thing that I need to do for myself, needs a lot of focus too.

When I got home, I need to shift my focus to that other task, but I'm usually beat by the time I reached home or be worrying about my current workload.

I seriously need help, but I don't know who to go to, because everyone keeps saying that I myself should know what I want and what I should be doing.

Hell, if I knew all that, then I wouldn't be asking in the first place. Make sense?

No one has any idea how much I wanted to quit now.
Quit everything, but when did I become a quitter?

Maybe I have been so, all this while, but I didn't realise it?

*MAJOR SIGH*

Maybe I should be doing one thing that needs brainpower at a time.
I'd rather have my body tired, than my mind, because if your mind is tired, you lose focus more easily and each day will be blurry and lose its meaning.

It's nearly 7 am, and I'm home now.
I just spend the whole Sunday at Iqbal's and our friend Jimen came visiting after midnight, and we sat up all night talking.
Jimen was our friend from the old days & he's one of the most incredible dancer I have ever seen.
We spoke a lot about our lives, our memories, and he even showed us some of his best moves.
Even though we just stayed home and talked and laughed, it feels so good. Even better than going out for dinner, to the movies or shopping.
In the company of amazing old friends, I feel refreshed & happy.

I hope we can do that again, guys. You guys are just the best! ♥ ♥
& Jimen, thanks for the encouragement you gave me!
You have no idea how much it means to me to hear that someone has faith in me, because I lost mine.

Maybe when I decided to follow your suggestions, you can help me with it?
I know you would. Like you always said (& for once I know someone means it), that's what old mates are for :)

It's not you, it's me

noreply@blogger.com (:: SIMPLY MAS ::) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:04:00 +0000

I think I know what's missing in my life lately.
The novelty factor.

Same old thing everyday, and it gets more ridiculous each day.
My job is frustrating me, and since my job had been the centre of my life for the past year, I'm pretty much feeling really down now.

Everyone knows how much I wanted this job, how much I loved it.
But loving something doesn't mean that you should stay with it, right?
Try as I might, I just can't do anything right anymore.
It's not like I didn't try or tried any less, but the results just didn't do justice to my efforts.

Maybe it's time to move on, the time to find something that suits me better.
But what is the guarantee that I will do better in a new job?
Maybe it's not the job that's getting ridiculous, but I'm the one who is underachieving.

I'm in the middle of fixing things now.
I hope it will work out just fine.
Maybe not like I planned or expected, but as long as it's going smooth and fine, then I'll settle.

Music is giving me a lot of comfort now.
Listening to old and new favourites of Korean pop helps me to check out of my real life, where I'd work till I drop, or worry and obsess about the things that could go wrong throughout the day.

Most of my friends can't understand what Korean pop means to me & they make fun of me.
I'm starting to take it personally, after a while. But I find comfort knowing what goes around comes around.

The question here is, what's the difference between obsessing about Korean Pop and obsessing about shoes, sports, or jerks in real life who break our hearts?

Live and let live, I'd say.
Peace & out.

K-Note #5: Been quite some time since the last K-Note, but the new solo single released by the Korean hottie singer/dancer Taeyang of Big Bang is the perfect excuse for me to go all nuts about Korean pop. Fans did not hesitate on jumping on the single, Where U At, released on October 14, 2009. It was an instant hit on the Internet, among local and international netizens likewise. An MV was released together with it, and it serves justice to the hot single by the equally hot Taeyang. Non-fandom readers, humor me and check the official MV out. If you don't feel that the song or Taeyang himself sparks your inner fire, there shall be no excuse for you to read my KNotes anymore.